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The dilemma facing the families of today has very well been presented in the article. The pros and cons of both the concepts make it a difficult choice to decide either way.But in the problem itself lies the solution.Recently a relative of ours got their only son married.They allowed the newly weds to stay with them for a month or so and then got them shifted to a nearby house,fully furnished and stocked as per their wishes. Now all are very happy,enjoying their individual spaces,and every now and then staying over at each other's places.Under the present day circumstances,it appears to be the best solution.

Yes Eskay...you said it

But deep in my heart i still yarn for those childhood days. JOINED FAMILY. Carefree life, because lots of elders are there to take care of things. Same time, learnt to adjust, tolerate and Respect elders. These basic qualities were missing in the new generation.

Nowadays youngters were selfish, self centered and lack of patience

Every older generation is ever ready to find faults with the later ones.But it must be appreciated that if they don't change with the time,they will become laggards.Times have changed,my dear,if we cann't change ,we must learn to grin and bear it. In our old good days,getting 60 plus marks was a milestone in one's life.I remember how I was felicitated on getting such marks.And today DU has 100 marks cut off for certain courses.The youngsters do have values and respect for us,simply they don't wear it on their sleeves.They have their own living and thinking style which can be very offensive to our sentivities.So why not give them space and freedom to live their lives on their terms. And remember that give only such advice to the kids that they want to be given.let them learn the hard way,as did we.

In nuclear family, kids gets full attention and their wishes are fulfiled in no time. so they could not understand the value of things and appreciate it.

This I noticed in lot of families...

Also I noticed Lack of patience and lack of confidence, when they face failures.

But I think it's the other way round. The nuclear family kids are more smart,self assured,go getter and focused than a joint family ones. Okay the are pampered but they are more cared for and attended to. They learn to take their own decisions and not to take a referendum on every issue.The biggest lesson one learns in a nuclear family is to be on one's own and not be dependent on others for personal issues.

Todays nuclear families find it difficult to adjust with in laws.The elder children of such families live their lives; the parents are busy with their carriers. On the other hand children of joint families respect elders and know that they are answerable to elders when they do something wrong. The parents can depend on the elders in the family to keep an eye on their children. Small children are well taken care. They need not depend on baby sitters or creches. There is more give and take in joint families.The girls in such families become more responsible and can adjust well with their future in-laws.

It isn't about family structure, it's about family. Generalisations are no guide to such comparisons. I have seen children of joint families going astray in thier life. Also I have met people from joint families who look perfect in physical and mental health with thier own success stories.

If I talk about myself, I am a completely different person from my sister. Same family, simliar upbringing and qualification. Yes, no denying values and systems but those can be a part of any family despite the size of the family. A traditional nuclear family or a liberal joint family...I believe one becomes what he/she is supposed to be :)