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Husband too restricting

vaishumadhar  Join Date:03 July 2011 | India
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03 Jul 2011 11:37 AM
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Hi,
I am an engineer and my husband is in a clerical cadre at a govt. organisation.I earn almost double his salary but all the finances are under his control.He gives me much less freedom to go for shopping , grocery , beauty parlours etc.He does not allow me to engage the maid as per my wish.He says - U don't know how to deal with people.Let me do all the talking. This is just a small example. I am totally under his control.My parents just swallow all these when they come to visit us. They did not like to invole until I needed their help.

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Re: Husband too restricting

rashmi9  Join Date:30 July 2011 | India
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30 Jul 2011 05:22 PM
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start oPen talks with ur hubby by making him understand about your wishes make him realize be clear and straight what u wnt go out for dinner and maybe out of station tell him that u too wnt some freedom or start stopping him also by doing such thing which u dnt like it will make him realize all the best!!!

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Re: Husband too restricting

prasanthi961  Join Date:01 August 2011 | India
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01 Aug 2011 02:49 PM
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Hello, Manaswini..... First sit and talk to him about ur issues and tell him u need more freedom about ur savings.. if he did not listen put a leave in office and tell ur husband that u resigned ur job because u dont have any control over ur money so y do u want to work. If only he understands and give u liberty then only u willl work, and also tell him that u r saving seperately in private firms so tell him that u will be giving only some limited amount for running the family..and also tell him that as u r also working as he is doing u know better to deal with the people and u r not a kid....and deal this matter softly arguments are necessary.... calmly do want u like to do....tell him strictly not to interfere in household issues as girls are more capable in dealing with house maids and all... if he really dont listen then threaten him that u ill never work. The ball is in ur court manaswini dont fear to tell him want u really felt in ur heart.

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Re: Husband too restricting

thisishello  Join Date:14 December 2011 | India
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14 Dec 2011 10:47 AM
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absolutely i agree with the answers ..you need to voice out ur opinions..no one would know what ur thoughts are unless you talk about it...have a conversation..try to start one...i know most of the men wouldnt like to talk or listen to wifes/women. But u try your best coz its ur life after all... if u have ur share of finances shared i would have had my own personal acct and put certain % in my acct that he wouldnt aware of....but thats secondary if you arent comfortable even after the discussion u can think of many things...be brave lady...its ur life n u r sharing it with another one so u expect the same things to you which u do to him..

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Re: Husband too restricting

suneetha.cho  Join Date:30 June 2011 | India
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22 Feb 2012 12:17 AM
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Take him to a family counceller

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Re: Husband too restricting

rajani2  Join Date:01 March 2012 | India
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01 Mar 2012 10:39 AM
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Don't worry, when your husband understand you perfectly, it may take some more time, but I am sure that when you will be able to gain his confidence then everything will be under your control even your husband. My dear sister money don't matter only LOVE and confidence matter in marriage life. God bless you

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Re: Husband too restricting

jaya  Join Date:29 November 2012 | United Arab Emirates
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04 Dec 2012 03:32 PM
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 Yes, your parents interference will spoil your realtionship. I noticed in your post, you never wrote that you hate him or love is reduced in between...

So love is there between you.. That is the base for any relationship to float on water without sinking.. So slowly make him understand your feelings...Fighting with him will take you nowhere. Talking can solve the problem. Make him understand that you are responsible.. Never say again that he is earning less and you are earning double.. Money will surely create problems...Leave money aside and show your love  and care to him and talk with love to him. This way you can make him understand and give a chance for him tio rectify his mistakes. Afterall he is saving the money for your future and kids only know

Re: Husband too restricting

eskay  Join Date:04 September 2012 | Delhi | India
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04 Dec 2012 04:14 PM
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 What's your problem Dear! Such hubbies are not born everyday. He is ready to take care of your every problem,howsoever mundane.It should be fine with you.Enjoy worry free life.Study further,concentrate on your career,prepare for the civil services,Just make most of your blessed condition.As far he is concerned ,it's nothing but manifestation of his inferiority complex. Also ,encourage him to progress in his career too lest he ends up playing a second fiddle to you.Between the two of you conquer the world.


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