Forum    BPO    Problem husband

We have been married for two years and both of us are employed in the same back end office. Our son is 3 months old and due to financial reasons I need to go back to work. My husband refuses to tell his parents to look after the baby, even though they stay in the next building. He expects my parents to do so, even though they live quite far from our house. He says I should work and look after her otherwise. He does not want to pitch in at all. He feels word will get out in the office and is worried about what people will think of him. My husband resents having to look after the baby even when he is at home and I am doing other things. He refuses to share the burden or understand the fact that I am also working. Please tell me what to do.Sandhya Murthy

a baby is never a burden no matter how stressful they can be! A baby is a blessing!

Hi Mrs Sandhya,

One simple question, why don't you hire a baby sitter? Since you are also earning, you can as well have her at home and pay her. If I was in your shoes,I would've quit my job temporarily and taken care of the baby.Baby is never a problem and is the 1st and most important priority for me to take care of. I also believe that at least one of the parents should stay home in their initial stages at least.(B'coz those days are not going to come back again and again). And I don't agree with anyone if they say Grand parents can take care of the kids.They are not here to do that.I mean they have already taken care of you.Now its your turn to take care of them and your kids.Of course, if you get their help,its a bonus but don't just blindly rely on them.Its your turn now to take charge.So, sit with your hubby and try to explain and convince him about your situation.I'm sure you'll come up with a better solution.All the best and take care.

Dear Sandhya,

I know that whenyou have ur first baby u feel that you have a big responsibility towards him and u are spoiling your career for him. Please understand that your baby is going to be the most important part of your life and a mother is the best one who can take care of him atleast the initial years when he so dependent. Please take care of him and be happy that you have been blessed by god to have a beautiful child. Dont depend on anybody, neither you inlaws nor any baby sitter would be able to take care of him at this tiny age. So sacrifice atleast for a year or two and then you can again start working and build your career.