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ramesh732 Join Date:29 April 2010

29 Apr 2010 05:53 PM

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Hi I recently married and confused to take a decision. I married a girl from Pune. she settled in Pune. I am in chennai.|
we both married. we both are happy in our marriage life but the thing is....she working in pune and i am in chennai. she is not interested to come chennai to settle here...so i am searching a job there...still i didnt find good one. but i am the only son of my family...parents are feeling sad that i am living them ..they are not interested come with me.
I didnt forced her to come chennai. I gave the decision to her....but she is not understanding the suitations.....i too feel she want to come chennai to live with me........ I am so balanced and trying to convice both the side. give me a good solutions........

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Re: Need a solution

sigi Join Date:29 April 2010

29 Apr 2010 05:53 PM

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If she loves you, what is it that is preventing her from joining you? Find out. Does she not want to stay with your parents? Is that why she is not coming? You have to meet her in person and sort out things with her. Tuesday, September 25, 2007 Thursday, November 29, 200

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Re: Need a solution

god1 Join Date:29 April 2010

04 Mar 2010 05:03 AM

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Ask your self, a God inside you will reply.
1. If there is no financial problem, you should stay six month at Pune and 6 month at chennai or year by year.
Jobs are available with small efforts and pray for goodthings.
2. Your wife is future and you can not avoid you forelook, once you loose this phase you will not get happiness like you dreamed.
3. Power your dreams and see the changes will happen as you liked.

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Re: Need a solution

rr1 Join Date:27 January 2011 | India

27 Jan 2011 11:26 AM

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once a girl is married she is bound to live with her hubby & inlaws. she has to come to chennai and look for a job here. if she is not interested in joint family system, u can live separately. these things should hv been discussed before marriage. u sit n talk to her patiently and explain things to her. she can definitely find a job here

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Re: Need a solution

aaa351 Join Date:20 March 2011 | India

20 Mar 2011 02:43 AM

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hii,,,, life shows us so many things,,,,, well..ur problem is genuine and it's good to see that u think about ur family as well as ur parents too.... lets come to your issue,,,, whats more important in any relation is time and space in your life,,, since she is your wife so u must give time to her and share a word with him,,, express ur opinion to her,,,convince her that she can pursue her career in chennai too.....since ur parents wants to stay in chennai only,,,,, if she is not at all comfortable than u should make a move to pune,,,u can find a job here also,, convince your parents that u r shifting ur location to pune coz of better opportunitied in pune,,n apart frm that you will be staying with your wife,,, so if all the family memebers are staying together,,than it makes a complete home.... you should talk to your parents as well as your wife too.. have a beautiful life ... if still face any problem than can share that too,,, Cheers : -)

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Re: Need a solution

rr1 Join Date:27 January 2011 | India

21 Mar 2011 09:59 AM

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ur life is important for u. ur parents wl definitely agree to ur decision of going to Pune. But u lay down a condition to ur wife. i.e she should try to find a suitable job for her (or u can also try) and during vocation and important festivals ur family to visit ur parents at Chennai. If she agrees to this, u can proceed. or else talk to her parents along with ur parents or uncle (chittappa or mama or any other cousin brother elder to u) settle the issue amicably and bring her to chennai under the condition that u wl visit her parents during vocations. such things should have been discussed before marriage itself to avoid confusion.

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avi2 Join Date:31 May 2011 | India

31 May 2011 11:10 PM

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Live in bangalore ....because that place is awesome...

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neha566 Join Date:19 December 2012 | Bhopal | India

19 Dec 2012 04:09 PM

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she dosent love u, if she loved you she would have definately come 2 chennai.... so according 2 me you should divorce her or atleast have an affair in chennai to satisfy yourself

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Re: Need a solution

eskay Join Date:04 September 2012 | Delhi | India

19 Dec 2012 09:59 PM

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Dear Ramesh,Unfortunately you have become wiser after the event. These issues should have been well discussed in detail with all the stake holders before the marriage. But I can understand that love is blind but.marriage is an eye opener. Jokes apart, there is always a tree in the desert. The solution is very simple. Both of you at your individual level try to find a suitable job for your spouse in a timebound manner at your place and shift accordingly. Rest ,as you will be telling your grandkids some day , shall be history.

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Re: Need a solution

jaya Join Date:29 November 2012 | United Arab Emirates

19 Dec 2012 10:23 PM

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Well Ramesh, It is not right to leave your parents at their old age and go to Pune. Make her understand that. Use some common friends and relatives and make her understand the fact.

Tell her to take a transfer to chennai or find a new job in chennai. Is she a tamil or Marathi girl??? If you can afford to make the ends meet at your salary then firmly tell her to resign the job and settle in chennai..

SiT AND TALK and find a good solution. But shifting the parents at the old age to a new city like Pune is not fair. Pune climate will not suit the parents.

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Re: Need a solution

Nishita136 Join Date:20 November 2012 | Delhi | India

20 Dec 2012 10:50 AM

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As you mentioned, your wife too wants to come down to Chennai. So why don't you talk it out with her. Get over the guilt that you promised her liberty on this. Although, you should have been practical on this earlier. Help her find a job in Chennai, and ask her to visit home while that happens.

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