To keep the love and interest alive in a marriage needs a lot of hard work especially in today’s scenario where hard working super couples hardly have time for each other. It is the abnormal stress and tension of their high profile jobs or their highly demanding careers that is slowly undermining the marriage. You do see exceptions around you though – where couples have learnt to cope admirably and everything seems to go smoothly as if on well oiled hinges. Meals are on the table on time, kids are got ready for school and in ge
neral everything is hunky dory. In most cases though, unfortunately, this does not happen. The harassed wife/mother who has to see to a thousand things right from morning and still leave for work on time is more the common scenario.
The fallout of all this? The couple grows apart because they are overburdened with simple problems that have not been addressed. Soon there comes a time when they are almost total strangers, and the marriage undergoes severe strain and stress because they stop communicating with each other. Those little touches that kept their marriage alive, the playing and laughing together, the ease of communication – all this takes a severe beating. Soon, it becomes a marriage of convenience – they do not even have the time to bother to go in for a divorce and find it easier living together in a merely functional relationship out of which all the fun has gone.
What the relationship lacks...
When you take a look at such a relationship you will find that the couple hardly has time to show affection for each other, they hardly laugh any more, do not make any attempts to be nice to each other, never bother to compliment each other especially when in company, do not have the time or energy to make love, never show any respect for each other, hardly look at each other when conversing, never exchange any gifts or even plan an intimate evening together. If you see any of these signs in your marriage, believe me, you are in for trouble and your marriage is in serious need of an overhauling.
Solutions? Try and avoid stress which simply numbs your senses in an unconscious effort to keep on going without flagging. If you are one such ‘coper’, you better watch out for you will also notice that you are highly irritable and frustrated when things don’t go your way. Might make you very cynical too! Leads to a state of total preoccupation with self when you begin to expect too much from your partner and resent when you don’t get that attention. You focus so much on your own worries that you become so insensitive that you no longer think of your partner’s needs.
And tips to solve this...
- Take time out of your busy schedules to spend quality time with each other. Never try to control the other person – it might lead your partner to clam up.
- Stop criticising each other for everything. You may be a perfectionist, but don’t expect the same of others. It will only serve to alienate you from people.
- You can be competitive but don’t make it your mission in life to be one up on others. Don’t make people avoid you.
- Never show excessive anxiety or impatience. It unsettles and unnerves people and creates a restless energy around you.
- Keep your mind on track. Pay attention when people are talking to you. Do not think of a hundred things when conversing – it puts people off.
- A hostile attitude will get you nowhere. If you show constant irritation, people get hurt and feel that you dislike them.
- Learn to be mutually supportive and retain your romantic interest in each other. The passion should linger long after the euphoria dies down.
We do hope these tips will help today’s super couples to cope with their marriage and to keep the spark alive for a long time to come.
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