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All of us have unique relationships with our mothers. I am sure that my daughter has too. When I was small, and my mother used to tell me to do something that I didn`t want to do, I would screw up my face and tell her that if I have kids of my own, I will always allow them to do what they want to do. My mother would smile at me gently and tell me to write it all out in a diary so that I would be ready to tackle my kids when the time came. I took her seriously and filled up pages after pages laboriously about what mothers should and should not do for their kids. The list of Don`ts got longer and longer everyday. I still remember some of the things I wrote:

Mothers should allow their children to eat when they want and what they want.

Mothers should not embarrass you in front of your friends by constantly nagging you about something or the other.

Mothers should not dictate a dress code to their kids. They should wear what they want to wear.

Mothers should trust their children and not get suspicious every time they are quiet and good.

Mothers should not fuss unnecessarily about colds and coughs and sniffles.

I used to leave my diary lying about quite prominently so that my mother could take a good look at what she was doing wrong. I used to feel strangely disappointed when she would go by without saying a word. One day, I remember telling her that she was a bad mom and that other moms were much better than her and that I wished I could have them as my mother. That was the day when I saw her face change for the first time. She looked at me quietly and said "Why don`t you put that in your diary too?"

I used to continue writing in that diary till I outgrew it, became more understanding of the mother-daughter relationship and acquired the wisdom of maturity.

When I had my first child, a daughter, my mother handed me my worn out diary that I had forgotten all about and said with a smile - "You may need it later."

Life has turned full circle. And how! As I scold my daughter for not putting her things away, she turns on me and says "When I have my own kids"

Is that an echo? Is there a feeling of deja vu? You bet! I smile, turn around and tell her to put down whatever she feels in a diary. Some relationships will never change, come what may! Mothers will be mothers, after all!

Jaya Jagadish