A mother's role in moulding a child's personality has always been discussed and written about. What about the father? He has an everlasting influence on the child too. He motivates, loves, understands and cares for his child. All of us remember our father's incessant hard work to keep us happy. You can, along with your husband, bring about a harmonious atmosphere at home. Let's see how fathers can achieve this. Here are some earnest suggestions:

• Always set realistic goals for the child.

• Create a congenial atmosphere at home where every member can freely express his or her ideas and impressions.

• Do not punish or show signs of anger and desperation at every mistake of the child.

• Always find time to be with your children when they need you. Be lavish in your praise for the right thing he or she has done.

• Appreciate a child's freedom and independence and give some allowances for them.

• Do not be over protective towards your child. He may grow up with several fear complexes. Rationalise his pitfalls. I know of children who always find the weather unbearable, or who cannot walk alone or bravely stand up to speak in public. This is because parents have been over-cautious. For example, some parents do not want their children to play as they may fall and get hurt. This negative caution is harmful for the child. He can be motivated to play the game well. A father should build confidence in a child.

• Some fathers try to make up for their own failures by being overly ambitious. Just because a father could not achieve his own goals, he should not compel his child to reach those levels for him. Surely, every child has his or her own ambition which, given proper guidance, will see fruition. A child derives a lot of pleasure in doing what he likes. Young Rajeev tells me how his father was a brilliant engineer, but neither Rajeev nor his three brothers like maths. They have ventured into other fields.

• A father has to understand his child's psychology and give him the necessary assurance, as every child is potentially intelligent. A father should be like a friend at times, in order to understand his child.

Fathers have, indeed had a long-lasting influence. At times, we notice that our fathers were instrumental not just in our own success, but have also inspired our friends to succeed.

Douglas MacArthur, the great wartime hero, said, "By profession I am a soldier and take pride in that fact. But I am prouder - infinitely prouder - to be a father. A soldier destroys in order to build; the father only builds, never destroys in order to build. The one has the potentiality of death; the other embodies creation and life. And while the hordes of death are mighty, the battalions of life are mightier still. It is my hope that my son, when I am gone, will remember me not from the battle, but in the home repeating with him our simple daily prayer". Great is the influence of a father, which leave an indelible mark on the child's mind.

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