Want to enjoy an excellent marriage? Here's a Ready Reckoner..

All of us step into our new married lives with stars in our eyes and hope in our hearts. But do you realize that to make something last and be successful involves a lot of hard work? One has to really work on the relationship if the marriage is become a synonym for bliss – and that isn’t easy! We have put together a sort of ready reckoner of things to follow for a successful recipe. Try it out – and do let us know if our suggestions have helped!

• Celebrate, celebrate, celebrate! Every little occasion should be celebrated as a milestone and a landmark in your lives. Not yet your 1st anniversary? Never mind! Celebrate the first day you set eyes on each other – surely that must rank as one of the most important days in your life!
• Do you praise each other often enough for even little things? Be articulate in your praise – after all, it is a special thrill to hear how much you are appreciated by your loved one.
• Learn to be your spouse’s best friend. This way, your relationship will have more meaning and depth. Be frank right from the beginning and learn to share your hopes and fears. Remember, it is this strong bond of friendship for which the foundation is laid before marriage, that is going to stand you in good stead over the years – even during tough times.
• Learn to respect each other’s space. Sure, you need to spend a lot of time together, but there will be moments when you just need to be left alone, or when you need to act on your own. Also, the hours apart will give you more to discuss with each other when you sit together at home again. This way, there will always be something interesting about each other waiting to be discovered.
• Learn to say nice things to each other. You will not lose anything by complimenting your spouse. You won’t ever be caught taking her/him for granted – this always leads to deep feelings of resentment. So keep the feelings fresh forever! Discover new things to appreciate!
• Even after marriage, do things together. All that you enjoyed with each other before you got married can still continue. Go on dates – meet each other after office hours for a movie date or eating out. Dress up for the occasion. Maintain the mutual physical attraction to keep up the romance.
• Are you discovering differences that you did not know existed? Never mind. Don’t get hassled. Simply learn to celebrate the differences and not try and force your views. Remember your spouse is an individual and is entitled to have an opinion. Accept this and appreciate the differences.
• Of course there will be little fights in any marriage! It is your attitude that should be positive. Try and solve the issue and not let it escalate into a major fight. Do not say hurtful things in the heat of the moment. Try and understand that the person you are fighting with is a loved one and who loves you in return. Discuss the problem calmly and give your spouse a fair hearing. If the fight becomes serious, it may affect your relationship in the future. Decide whether it is worth that.
• There is no perfect person – not even in fairy tales. The person whose qualities you love and appreciate may also have qualities you may not really like or that may irritate you. Learn to accept.
• Fun and frolic does not have to stop just because you have got married. You can still do many fun things together – crazy things that will help you to understand and appreciate each other better and draw you closer to one another, differences and all.
• Once you are married, remember to chart out some goals that you can achieve together. It pays to work towards a common goal rather than always keep running in opposite directions. Learn to trash all grudges. It never pays to carry those extra burdens. They never get you anywhere and will only bog you down.
• Plan well earned holidays together. This will keep the interest alive in your marriage and help you enjoy each other’s company better. You may even rediscover the romance you first felt! Hot or what!
• Be open and frank with each other right from day one. No point in lying or trying to hide things as it will only escalate the problem.
• Try and learn about each other’s interests. This will not only give you newer things to do and think about, it will certainly draw you closer as your conversations will become more meaningful.
• Remember to give a good hug as often as possible. There is nothing like body contact to keep the romance alive. Hugging is also a kind of intimacy.
• Never try to submerge your personality in his. There can be nothing more tragic than losing one’s identity. Remember, it was this person that your spouse fell in love in the first place! Retain your interests and activities and your individuality.
• Don’t give up your job just because you are married. It is important to have your own income and be your own boss. Never become dependant on your husband for money. You will only lose respect in his eyes.
• Family is very important for us Indians. When you marry a man you are also marrying his family. Learn to respect your in-laws. That will make him love you more.
• Never get down to cursing each other, whatever be the provocation. You should always wish your spouse well at every stage of your lives.
• Anything that is likely to become a problem – be it money or even sex should be discussed and sorted out right in the beginning. It is always easier when the marriage is still fresh and new.
• Learn to be a good listener. Never interrupt when your spouse is putting forth his point of view. Listen before you argue.
• Try and do fitness courses together. This will keep you healthy and attractive for each other.
• Keep the love and romance going over the years. This can happen only with continuing respect and live chemistry for each other.
• Keep doing new things together – however mad they may sound. Relive memories of when you first met.
• Try to think of your spouse’s happiness. Be considerate and attentive always and never take him for granted. See that you are not taken for granted either.
• Learn to admit it when you are in the wrong. Say sorry and watch the anger melt away.
• Once you are married, learn to think of yourselves as a team and do not make individual decisions. Think as a couple and you will remain as one.
• Be a constant support to each other and learn to think as a family – always keep talking and discussing with each other about the happenings in your lives. Never shut out your spouse from what is in your mind.

We hope that these few guidelines can help you to keep the romance alive in your marriage for many years to come and help you grow together as a loving couple in a healthy relationship.