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Researchers Identify Key Biobehavioural Pattern Used By Women To Manage Stress Researchers have identified a broad pattern that explains a key method used by women to cope with stress - and at the same time highlights one of the most basic differences between men and women's behaviour. 
This pattern, referred to as 'tend and befriend', shows that females of many species, including humans, respond to stressful conditions by protecting and nurturing their young (the 'tend' response), and by seeking social contact and support from others - especially other females (the 'befriend' response). This 'tend-and-befriend' pattern is a sharp contrast to the 'fight-or-flight' behaviour that has long been considered the principal method for coping with stress by both men and women. For decades, psychological research maintained that both men and women rely on fight or flight to cope with stress - meaning that when confronted by stress, individuals either react with aggressive behaviour, such as verbal conflict and more drastic actions, or withdraw from the stressful situation. Men often react to stress with a fight-or-flight response, but women are more likely to manage their stress with a tend-and-befriend response by nurturing their children or seeking social contact, especially with other women. Just as the fight-or-flight response is based on biological changes that occur in response to stress, the tend-and-befriend pattern may have a biological basis. In particular, the hormone oxytocin plays a large role in the tend-and-befriend response, in conjunction with sex hormones and the body's natural opioid system. Oxytocin has been studied largely for its role in childbirth but it is also secreted in both men and women as a response to stress. Animals and people with high levels of oxytocin are calmer, more relaxed, more social and less anxious. In several animal species, oxytocin leads to maternal behaviour and affiliation. Men secrete oxytocin too, but the effects of oxytocin seem to be reduced by male hormones, so oxytocin may have reduced effects on men's physiology and behaviour under stress. Oxytocin, along with other stress hormones, may play a key factor in reducing females' response to stress. Women are far more likely than men to 'befriend' in response to stress - seeking social contact when they are feeling stressed. Befriending methods range from talking on the phone with relatives or friends, to such simple social contacts as asking for directions when lost. The different ways that men and women respond to stress may also help researchers understand why men are more vulnerable to the adverse health effects of stress. Men are more likely than women to respond to stressful experiences by developing certain stress-related disorders, including hypertension, aggressive behaviour, or abuse of alcohol or hard drugs. Because the tend-and-befriend regulatory system may, in some ways, protect women against stress, this biobehavioural pattern may provide insights into why women live an average of seven and a half years longer than men do. The tend-and-befriend pattern exhibited by women probably evolved through natural selection. Thousands of generations ago, fleeing or fighting in stressful situations was not a good option for a female who was pregnant or taking care of offspring, and women who developed and maintained social alliances were better able to care for multiple offspring in stressful times. The 'tending' pattern is especially apparent when one examined the differences between the behaviours of the fathers and mothers with their children after a stressful workday. When the typical father comes home after a stressful day at work, he responds to stress by wanting to be left alone, enjoying peace and quiet, away from the stress of the office. When office-related stress was particularly acute, a typical response would be to react harshly or create conflict with his wife or children. When the typical mother comes home from work bearing stress, she is more likely to cope with her bad day by focussing her attention on nurturing her children.
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