Can marriage work without the crying game?

I don't cry like I used to. What's missing is the kind of weeping that can make witnesses want to move heaven and earth to put my world right again. Absolutely gone is the utterly devastated wail of a woman who feels misunderstood, underappreciated, and insufficiently loved by her man. I used to believe with all my heart that if I was weeping, gasping and getting the hiccups, I obviously cared more about the issue than he did and deserved to win. From the time I first wrapped my father around my little finger with a tear, crying had been my ace in the hole. I found comfort in knowing that when all intelligent conversation failed, I still had a couple of boo-hoos up my frilly sleeve.

These days, however, I can't even manage one pitiful little tear! The welling up of "wifely" tears doesn't pack the same wallop it used to either. So what does this mean in the big marital picture? It means the pragmatist has elbowed out the romantic. But I can't help wondering if something more serious has occurred.

Look at yourself when you are crying. I am sure we all do anyway! There is an undeniably morbid fascination with how we look at our most distraught and have had enough emotional detachment to study ourselves in the mirror even in some truly upsetting moments. (Nothing to be proud of - just a fact). But face it. You look terrible when you cry! You can drown in your own body fluids; your nose flowing as copiously as your eyes. Clearly, a little tearing up might still impress my intended witness, but a full-tilt, gasping cry-for-all can send people scurrying to their rooms. Not exactly the desired effect! Thanks to this, I have gradually bid a tearful goodbye to my baby-doll blubbering skills…

Also with time, the family and their needs change the way we act and react to situations. Unless one of the kids can't be on a team she's dying to be on, or I am told that my son might have a learning disability, very few of life's dramas tug at my heartstrings.

With the passing of time, you would have weathered some pretty heavy storms and have had so many reasons to weep together that so-called trivial things don't do the tearjerker's job anymore! How can you sob about a missed dinner when your husband held your hand through your entire labour without once fainting or throwing up?

We also make a commitment to protect the other's vulnerability with all our might. Why in the world would anyone voluntarily bring pain or sadness to the other?

Ok. He might not see your urgent need for lipo-suction. But hey! There are more important things in life than that! So, what if you can't cry? That's one good reason to smile, isn't it?

Post Comment

Name : Email : Password : Comments :