The One Who Gets the Applause
Our status, whether by profession, family or personal accomplishment, marks our worth, both inside and outside our marriage. Since his importance is so publicly acknowledged, the one on top may begin to devalue his partner. Every decision must be made to accommodate him and his partner's life must be made to fit around his needs. When a marriage shifts so that one person has almost all the applause and the other has almost all the self-sacrifice, the stage is set for rebellion.
No matter which of you is the public star, each of you needs a chance to shine. In well-tuned marriages these adjustments are made almost intuitively. For example: A high-powered executive leaves his office early on Tuesdays so his wife can attend her art class, and the whole family turns out for the valedictory function. The message? We're all important. Husband and wife take turns playing spouse at the other's office party. The message? Our work is equally important.
Even if such adjustments don't come automatically, you can nurture them by discussing your feelings and looking for ways and areas in which both of you can feel important
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