Home » Relationships » Marriage » Marriage become mar-rage...when Sometimes the solid rock foundation of marriage wobbles and shakes. It happens usually when a square keg is trying to fit into a round hole. But remember, only when a square keg fits into a round hole will there be extra space for both the keg and the hole. Marriage is not about losing your individuality in a relationship, it is about discovering a new aspect in you, which you would have never realized, but for the other person in your life. You are the yin for your partners’ yen. Here certain well known phrases are taken and parodied in the context of marriage.

EAST IS EAST, WEST IS WEST AND THE TWAIN SHALL NEVER MEET.

People have a wrong view that real romantic marriage means one soul in separate bodies. They wrongly dream of marriage to be an ecstatic continuation of their courtship.
They are disappointed. It is because barriers, frustrations, separations and delay daze them during their courtship. The everydayness of married life awakens them to reality. Romantics forget the fact that people grow weary of each other when they become an extension of themselves. It is as if only one person is living in the house. Although it is good to have common interests and values, the real happiness is got from consideration, communication, adjustment to each other’s habits and joint participation in several activities. Above all, respect your partner for being what he or she really is.

BIRDS OF THE SAME FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER

People think that both husband and wife should do everything together. Thus, an extremely outgoing husband would find it difficult to make his wife accompany him every time. An introvert wife would prefer to stay at home enjoying her solitude. Remember, it is not good to put pressure on the other. The husband could possibly take her with him, but not before promising to stay with her on another occasion. Even otherwise, do not feel guilty about enjoying your interests without your spouse. There are times when you should be together but permit individual growth and privacy.

IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO

People wrongly assume that they are responsible for their spouses’ happiness. Hence they bend backwards to keep the other person happy. One might agree to all the whims and fancies of the other initially, but to continue it as a lifelong affair is extremely difficult. It would be tremendously pressurizing to be perfect always. Sometimes it will end in disaster. Be relaxed. Make mistakes. Learn from mistakes. Forgive others for their mistakes. Take charge only of your happiness. If you are happy and contented you will make your marriage a happy and rewarding experience.

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS

Many people put on their best behavior at work places and public places. They think that home is the place to release their pent up emotions. Thus, instead of finding their source of frustration they blow their fuse on the family, especially the spouse. The passive spouse might not be passive after all, but might pay back by accidentally misplacing your favorite object or by forgetting some important instructions. Create an atmosphere of politeness, tact and good humour at home. Never take your spouse for granted. Give him or her at least as much respect as you would to a perfect stranger.

A STITCH IN TIME SAVES NINE

People always assume that in marriage, one should automatically understand the other person’s feelings. Nobody can read another person’s thoughts. Regardless of the intensity of devotion, partners learn about each other through sharing of thoughts. You understand the other person by trial and error approach. The most sensible couples do not wait for the other to think for them. They would teach their partners how best to get along with them. Say what you want to the other person and be clear about it. Don’t expect your spouse to be a mind reader.

DON’T LOCK THE STABLE AFTER THE HORSE HAS BOLTED

Do not take your spouse too much for granted. Do not allow yourself to be taken too much for granted. Good marriages are based on a tinge of insecurity. Trust based on the inability of the other person is not good. For example, do not regard your spouse as too much homely to attract somebody. He or she might be tempted to do it just to prove you wrong. Consider your spouse as a natural and normal person who would not tolerate it if neglected or mistreated in marriage. This being the realistic view, it will make you increase your own display of caring and affection.

MARRIAGES ARE MADE IN HEAVEN

But the people involved in it are of this world. Marriage is a continuous learning process where both can learn many things jointly and individually. Always keep an open heart and open mind. Remember Kahlil Gibran’s words, â€"Let there be spaces in your togetherness.” Only such marriages are worth preserving.