Everyone enters marriage with dreams and expectations and couples come all prepared to work towards achieving a healthy and loving relationship. Maybe it is the expectations part that lets one down – what one gets in reality is, in most cases, not what one thought it would be.

Indeed, relationship problems have become so common that one can even foresee certain developments, and preparing for such eventualities may actually help you to save your marriage.

So what are these problems?

1. Most girls opt for marriage and await D-Day with stars in their eyes, expecting the handsome prince to simply sweep them off their dainty feet.
   Reality? The typical male is far from the caring fairy tale prince! There might be moments when he shows his love and is caring, but most men are not demonstrative and fight shy of any public display. And if she is not careful and doesn’t drive him away with her nagging, the false promises, the lying and then the cheating begin. Which is often the beginning of the end.
2. Who is the boss? This is the second problem that has to be nipped in the bud for the relationship to thrive. If one person takes all the right to decision making the relationship will begin to flounder. What is the need of the hour is for the couple, and more particularly the dominant member, to realize what is happening and strive for equality and sharing in the partnership. It is not as if a man is meant to earn and the woman is a caretaker. Roles can be reversed too!
3. Communication is an important part of any relationship. The husband and wife should be able to discuss about their preferences whether it is their plans for the future, their values or even in sex matters. Once they are familiar with each other, they can anticipate each other’s wishes and thus pave the way for a strong marriage.
4. It is better that family ties are maintained – there is always someone with whom problems can be discussed. This is particularly true of love marriages which take place without parental approval and most often the couple is left to fend for itself. Sometimes it leads to insecurity which will magnify problems to the point of breakup.
5. Trust and space are the two most important ingredients of a successful marriage. Where this is absent or where there is an inferiority complex in one partner, it will result in an unhealthy over possessive attitude which will signal an imminent breakup. It is important to address this problem immediately and learn to appreciate oneself. Self esteem is so important to any individual.
6. Watch for signs of envy and jealousy early on in the marriage. It could lead to uncontrolled anger, abuse and violence. Especially if the husband has doubts about his wife which could be because of low self worth. So watch out for telltale signs as this is one of the main reasons for divorce. The couple should give each other space and not monitor activities every moment. Violence is almost always serious and chances of a patch up are rare. In fact, it might be better for the couple to part ways as the wounds run deep.

Being aware of the pitfalls is one way of avoiding a serious problem in the marriage and if one heeds the early warnings, the marriage can still be saved.

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