Even the best of couples seem to fall apart sometimes. There seems to be trouble in paradise. Why does this happen? Why does 'happily ever after' change to 'angrily ever after'?

One of the primary causes for trouble in a marriage is that most couples seem to think happiness goes hand in hand with no differences of opinion.

They link a different point of view to marital discord. And then they think they're incompatible. They have doubts about their marriage.

No matter what, no matter where, differences crop up in every relationship. Don't view them negatively. Every marriage will work better if a few basic principles are followed.

• Even in a marriage you can't be dependent on your spouse for happiness. Your ability to be happy should come from within yourself.

• Discord in marriages is very often due to egotism. Trade egotism for happiness. You'll reap the benefits for a lifetime.

• Offence is not always the best form of defence. It's not healthy in a marriage.

• Life is very often unfair, lopsided and temperamental. Accept it.

• Don't keep looking for shoulders to cry on. Square your shoulders and learn to shrug away problems that can't be solved.

• The need to control doesn't go hand in hand with happiness. The less you try to control your spouse, the happier you can be.

• Too quick to criticise, too slow to praise. A sure-fire recipe to spoil a marriage.

• Marriage is not mathematics. Don't keep adding the pluses and minuses to decide whether you're happy or not.

• Be creative instead. Create your own happiness.

• Don't be a victim of your expectations. Great expectations can often lead to a feeling of inadequacy.

Marriage is what you make of it. Choose to make it good.

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