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 Handle Romantic Rejection
What you hoped would never happen, just did. Your sweetheart just told you, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you". Your whole world seems to be falling apart. What now?
Yeah, it hurts to hear it. But the truth is, you'll get over it. It's true. And face this fact. This person, no matter how much you like him, is not going to reciprocate. You can't make a person love you. Ever. And you can drive yourself crazy trying. You deserve a partner who respects you and cares about you. You want to feel secure and valuable, right?
At first, you'll experience denial. This is normal. "It's not really over", you tell yourself. You want to try and talk to him, or meet him somehow. Then you'll go into over-drive, trying to change things in yourself, hoping you can win him back. Don't. It won't work. It's too late for that. If you do anything, do it for yourself. Now is the time to be selfish. Don't get obsessive. If you feel that you can't get over it by yourself, get professional help. You don't want to turn into a stalker.
What you do need to do is to go to your friends or family - those who accept you and will understand your feelings. Cry. It is ok. Write in a journal every night. That will really help you get your pent up feelings out of your system. Remember that life doesn't end here. Take up a hobby or sport. Work out! Get a pet. Get your mind off your breakup. Stay busy - this is key. You will get depressed. It's normal. You will get angry; this is normal too. Avoid places where the two of you used to frequent because it will only serve as a reminder. Over time, your life will return to normal.
You might try finding someone else - and some people will suggest this - but it's not very healthy and won't really be fair to the new person. Give yourself time to pull yourself together. This is very important. You don't want to get involved with someone on the rebound and then find that there is one more relationship in your life that is not likely to work out!
Exercise, a pet and friends are all good but first you must forgive yourself. You are not responsible for another's actions and after all this is only one person's opinion of you!
Breaking up is hard for almost everyone; just remember not to blame yourself for everything. You are important. Ex-boy friend may not see that, but someone will come along who will admire everything about you. They will see every good trait you possess.
Don't deny that your heart was broken! Be proud of the person you've become and the lessons you've learnt from the breakup. With every relationship, we grow. And there are lessons we learn while going through pain that we never would have learnt otherwise. Look at it as a growth experience. Be thankful for that growth and bask in your new identity.
You could try some crazy stuff... like burn up all his letters, cut up his shirt that's with you into smithereens... or maybe you could make a long list of all the things that you never really liked about him anyway! At the end of the list, you'll begin to wonder what you ever saw in the guy in the first place!
But the bottomline is, after the rains, the sun comes out... so, hang in there!
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