Most of us, whether single or married, living alone or with a family, whether lonely or on the top of the world, need friends. Friendship is a special bond born out of a special need to share. Most bonds of friendship stand the test of time. Sometimes childhood friendships begun in the kindergarten or in school last almost a lifetime. How do we single out people and strike deep bonds with them? Is it magic? Is it chemistry? Or is it some association from the previous birth? What is it that determines with whom a person will strike a bond of friendship?

An unpredictable attachment

While some friendships are formed between those who belong to the same age and sex, or those who share similar backgrounds, interests or values, there are those that defy logic because there are more dissimilarities than similarities between the two people concerned. Sometimes a bond may develop between one very vivacious personality and the other a quiet, reticent person, or one a shy and hesitant person and the other a good conversationalist and socialite. Age, personality and cultural differences are no longer barriers but eventually give way to friendship.

An inherent need

Sometimes, we make friends because we are lonely and need someone to share our thoughts and feelings, our fun and games with. Some friends are brought together by common needs. To find someone to do things with or chat with is good fun. Common interests such as love for animals, mountaineering, or art can also bring people together. Friendship also satisfies the need for understanding and emotional support. Issues and subjects, which are not understood or appreciated by parents, siblings, children or even spouse, can be discussed with friends. Sometimes, friends are brought together due to similar concerns. Teenagers, who find acne and excess weight distressing, rely heavily on friends to tide them through this rough phase. Often young mothers, who begin exchanging notes with each other on how to bring up their children, end up forming a lasting bond with the person. In fact, friendships based on emotional support are predictably more intense than friendship based on doing things together.

A special gift

We rely heavily on our friends for emotional sustenance, companionship, motivation, advice, and most of all, for their love and concern. A friend makes a deep influence on one’s life, particularly in the formative years. One of the contributions a friend makes is that he/she teaches us social skills. The way we talk, meet or behave is often shaped by our interaction with friends. Friends influence our thoughts, views and perceptions of life. Sometimes important decisions in our lives are taken due to a friend’s influence. Many of us subconsciously strive to be like our friends.

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