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Whether it is an arranged marriage or a love marriage, a girl and boy have to consider certain basic issues which will go a long way in ensuring that they have made a right choice of a life-partner.
It is true that opposites do attract, but it is also true that the marriages that work best are with couples who share similar values, beliefs and interests. This is not as if you have to select a carbon copy of yourself! Surely nothing can be more tedious or boring - after all, how many of us would want to marry a similar person? Marrying a mate who will probably work towards achieving the same goals and who has the same values in life will certainly go a long way in keeping the marriage intact.
Having different interests is also a big plus in any marriage. Sure, it is wonderful to spend a lot of time together - but… all your time? And also, it will do you good to remember that it is the quality of time spent together and not the quantity that really counts. There are many couples who simply enjoy being together day and night and who love to do things together. Even for such inseparables, some time apart is good as it gives you a fresh outlook on your lives, not to mention giving you both something new to talk about that is apart from your daily lives and interests.
Of course, it goes without saying that communication is probably at the top of the list on the compatibility issue. Begin able to discuss dreams, goals and what's in your heart is very important, as well as having someone who will listen closely to what you say and having some empathy as to how you feel. That's not to say that your partner wants to hear constant complaints about one thing or another. Yes, we all need "a shoulder to cry on" occasionally, just don't make a habit of it. So, is your man/woman the right material for all this? Are you able to share your thoughts without inhibitions?
Discussing issues like where you will be staying, whether in-laws are going to be part of your lives, how soon and how many children you are planning to have, whether career is going to play an important part in the general scheme of things - these are a few basic issues that need to be discussed before you take the plunge.
Intimacy is also a very important part of keeping a marriage alive and happy. And intimacy doesn't mean just sex. Being close, holding hands, relaxing with each other, speaking of your hopes and dreams of the future, helps to build a close relationship and trust of your partner.
Are you able then to totally relax in your chosen one's company? Are you able to discuss freely anything under the sun and find solutions to problems by just opening up to your partner? Is there enough empathy on both sides? If so, go ahead and just set the date - your journey together is sure to be a fruitful one and happy days are surely ahead!
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