At first it seems like love ("I want you all to myself").

Then it gets annoying ("Who was that guy?").

Then just creepy. ("Don't wear that dress").

Men and women are equally jealous but they're jealous about different things. Many clinical psychologists point out that since women have become more successful professionally, they've noticed an increase in male romantic jealousy, often with men with whom their wives or girlfriends work. Many women today look at sex in traditional male terms as a form of physical release or conquest, which has left a lot of men in unfamiliar territory.

One of the problems in male jealousy is that there are such few men who admit to it. The reason for this is that, when directed at a partner, jealousy exposes a person's deepest insecurities. Some think that there are two kinds of jealousy. One is through low self-esteem and the insecurity in people can turn anything into a potential threat. The other, which is more common, occurs as a protective response based on the degree a person perceives a relationship as being threatened.

Barring the kind of women who prey on their partners' insecurities, most women admit they accept and even appreciate a certain amount of jealousy because it shows that a guy is at least paying attention. But while it seems flattering at first, extreme jealousy often follows a pattern in a relationship that can feel like a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's as if a jealous person is drawn to her worst fears and then sets out to control them. Consciously or unconsciously, her partner also feeds into the jealousy dynamic until both feel powerless to change it. And when this happens, both partners need to make a concerted effort to break the pattern of behaviour, usually through counselling.

What makes a jealous man attractive at first is that they put you right at the centre of their world. They're romantic and attentive. The problem comes when the centre of their world sinks to a cage.

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