Your relationship is floundering. In fact, it is in the doldrums. You want to make it work, but that isn't happening. And you're at your wits' end. And almost ready to give up.

Wait a minute. Hold your horses. Before you decide to call it a day, have you considered a counsellor?

What? You don't want to talk to a stranger about your problem? How could an outsider figure out the kind of people you and your spouse are? For God's sake, he hasn't even laid eyes on you before.

Whether you're dealing with impotence, indifference, irritation or infidelity, the issue needs to be addressed effectively. Believe it or not, counselling does help.

For one, you do tend to be a lot more honest with the counsellor. It is easier opening out to a relative stranger than it is to a friend or family member.

A professional counsellor knows that your case isn't an isolated one. He has probably helped solve so many other cases that run along the same lines. It's only the names and faces that vary.

A counsellor would be able to make a distinction between the symptom and the cause. Is your spouse indifferent to you? That attitude could be a symptom. It's important to get to the root of the matter    the reason behind the indifference.

A counsellor teaches you to put aside your emotions and see the bare facts as it were. Anger, hurt and fear cloud and colour reality. That gives us a distorted point of view. A counsellor helps us see facts the way they are    stripped of emotion and bias.

A counsellor rarely labels you good or bad. He perceives it as a difference of opinion. He helps you both think along the same lines.

It is advisable to try a counsellor before things go beyond repair. Give your marriage a chance. Mend it when you can.

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