When you have more than one child and when one of them naturally and effortlessly outshines the others, what do you do? No matter how much a child adores her high-achieving sibling (whether older or younger), and no matter how proud she is of her sibling's achievements, she will be affected by always ending up in second place. And how can you cope with this? You can start by figuring out what the child is going through.

*Resentment. Sibling rivalry is so common that feelings of resentment are considered normal. However, resentment can be even stronger when one child's achievements are constantly lower.

*Low self-esteem. Living in the shadow of a high-achieving sibling can knock a child's self-confidence. She will start to think that her own achievements are dismal in comparison and this reduces her feelings of self-worth.

*Poor motivation. After a while, the child with the lower ability might stop trying as hard. She could take the view that there is no point because she can never score as highly as her sibling. This would pull down her performance even further.

*Unhappiness. Living with a brother or sister who constantly outshines her could make her generally unhappy. She may start to dread the next end-of-year exam result, or the next music grade results, or even the Christmas party when friends and relatives pay more attention to her sibling.

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