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1. Forcing or Punishing"I don`t care if you hate karate. I paid for the class and now you`re going".

Why It Won`t Work?Though your child may appear to go along, her desire to try will vanish as soon as you`re out of the picture.

2. Comparing"Are you reading another Richie Rich comic? When your sister was eight, she went through at least one chapter a week."

Why It Won`t Work?It makes your child think he`s a failure if he doesn`t live up to some absolute standard of performance. It also won`t do much for the relationship between your kids.

3. Reasoning or Lecturing"You won`t get into the advanced maths group if you don`t do better in your tests. And you won`t do better if you don`t start studying. So you need to forget about your video games and get motivated . . . "

Why It Won`t Work?Even if you don`t raise your voice, this kind of nag-lecture comes across as yelling and makes a child think, "My parents don`t care about me unless I succeed." Moreover, kids eventually learn to tune you out.

4. Criticising"You always come last because you don`t keep your eye on the finishing line."

Why It Won`t Work?It emphasises that the child is doing something wrong, which he probably has already realised but it doesn`t help him learn how to do it right.