Your husband and you probably work long hours at your jobs. As a result you don't spend enough time with your children. The kids say they are fine and understand that you have to work, but is that a good thing? Spending time with your children, particularly your teen, is vital. Your teenagers need you. While young kids will tell you how much they need you, teenagers balancing their need for parents and their need for independence are less frank about their need for your help. They need you but rarely admit it. Here are some strategies to make good use of the time you do have at home with your teens.

Fully Focus
Talk to them and give them your full attention. Leave your work, your worries, budget stress and your mother-in-law out of the conversation. Ask them about their friends, school, work, music or anything else that concerns them.

Cancel Complaints
When first talking with your teen each day, avoid housekeeping business or discipline issues. Chores and complaints about messy rooms and undone homework can be handled later.

Double-Team
Occasionally you and your husband should spend time with your children as a family. A snack at night, watching TV for a while (it doesn't need to be a whole programme), at the dinner or breakfast table or even in the car. This is especially effective when talking about issues and problems your teens may be facing.

Short and Sweet
Talk with your teen in short segments of time. Mention things in passing; mention funny things happening in the news or at work. Your teens are very good at picking up information and attitudes from you in quick bursts. Long conversations and heart-to-heart discussions are great, but these brief interchanges can be equally effective.

Keep in Touch
Try to see your children for a few minutes in the morning before everyone scatters for the day. Prepare the night before. Find out if they have a test or a particularly difficult class at school and give some encouragement. If face-to-face communication is not possible, leave notes, phone messages, e-mail or whatever you can, to keep in touch.

Teenagers need to hear from you and keep in contact with you. It is not necessary to spend large chunks of daily time with them. But make sure that your focus is on your teens, during the time you spend together.

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