Manas sits huddled in a corner of the school van pretending not to notice the other children laughing and talking among themselves. But he's aware of every little thing they are doing. He wishes he could join the fun but he just doesn't know how. Besides, he doesn't want to draw attention to himself and so he prefers to be a loner.

There are many children like Manas, who just do not know how to mingle with others much as they'd like to. But a child has to learn to get along with other children to grow up into a well-adjusted adult.

If you have a child like Manas, here's how you can help:

1. Observe your child carefully: Make sure that it is not just shyness that keeps your child from mingling with the other children. Observe him in different situations. Does he really have a problem getting along with others?

2. Involve the school: As the child spends a major part of his time in school, take the help of his teachers in tackling the problem. Meet them regularly. The company of a child who is an extrovert can help draw your child out. Ask if your child can be placed next to an outgoing and friendly child in class.

3. Make friends with your child's classmates: If you get to know your child's classmates by name and make friends with them, they will automatically try to pull him into their circle. Enlist their help. You'll be surprised at the capacity of children to understand and help out a child, who is a loner.

4. Meet a child counsellor: The guidance of a child counsellor will be invaluable and will give you the confidence to tackle the problem. The school should be able to provide you with the name of a counsellor.

5. Extra-curricular activities: Let your child join extra-curricular activities of his choice. The informal atmosphere plus the fact that he's enjoying what he is doing could help him overcome his inhibitions. To begin with, his participation may be minimal but it will improve with time.

6. Be patient and understanding: You cannot force the pace of change. Be patient and understanding. Give your child the time and opportunity to discover the joys of friendship. Once he does that, there will be no holding him back.

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