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 Thoughts and feelings
When expressing yourself, try to be specific rather than general about how you feel. Specify the degree of the feelings and you will reduce your chances of being misunderstood. For example, when you say, "I am angry", some may think that you are extremely angry when you actually mean a 'little irritated'.
If you have mixed feelings, say so, and express each feeling. For example, "I am glad and thankful that you helped me, but I didn't like the comment about my stupidity."
Reading between the lines
Just as it is possible to read a message wrong, it is quite possible to overlook messages. Hidden messages that are aching to be understood.
A child that says "Who cares if I don't do my homework?" and hears "The teacher does" from the mother, is a sad child indeed.
The mother has missed the implied longing in the rebellious retort. Her flippant answer has not humoured the child who wants to connect. Had implied messages been deciphered, the mother would have answered "I do" to "Who cares?" It would have been 'round one' to mom! The trophy? A happy, co-operative child.
Situations like this arise all the time. You get up to leave your ailing father-in-law's bedside. "Is it that late?" he asks. "No. It's just 5.30" you reply.
The 'time of day' was not what the old man wanted. It was an extension of your time by his side. But you missed the message.
Learn to read between the lines. Listen for tones undertones. The heart hears unspoken messages.
Excerpted from Rupa -Sitagita's Women Life enriching series of pocket books: Communications and Relationships
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