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 I'm thinking about simplifying, cutting back, doing something anything to let some air into my crowded life. How did I get my life so crowded in the first place? The same way you did: by collecting all manner of things over the past decade or so. Things like a career, a husband, a few kids, a house, a car or two, a computer, several automatic coffeemakers, clothes need I go on?
Clearly, clutter psychic and real is the ailment of our generation. I have discovered a few cool nuggets scattered among pages of books and plucked a few more from friends further along the simplification path than I am. Here are the best ones that allow us to keep what, in our hearts, we know we want: our careers, husbands and our kids.
Wallow in your insignificance: Even if you're a CEO, you're still only one spoke in the big wheel. Quit thinking everything depends on you. Learn to let go: The first thing is to let go of what you were told were the right things and find out what are the right things for you. Make two master lists, one of your responsibilities at work and the other of responsibilities at home. Start with the most important tasks at the top. Now draw a horizontal line through the middle of each list. Rarely, if ever, do the things beneath that line. Do not waver. Do nothing alone : Ask your husband to take the kids out for the afternoon, you don't care where. Then stay home and do nothing nothing planned, scheduled or productive. If you end up asleep in front of the television, great! Maybe you'll read old love letters. Maybe you'll paint your nails red. Whatever. Savour the rich pleasure of a timeless day. Do nothing with your family: Memories are made of these the marshmallows in the hot cocoa or the shared couch in front of the TV. So you weren't productive. Ask the kids if they care. Eat the feast in your refrigerator: In Buddhist monasteries, it was the cook's duty to make the most sumptuous meal possible out of whatever ingredients were available to use what he had rather than complaining about what he didn't have. The spiritual allegory is hard to miss but there's a useful literal bit here too: Instead of thinking about dinner in terms of what you want to eat, think in terms of what you've got and work with it, so you don't have to run to the store every night. Practice gratitude: When you're grateful, you're less impatient and you're not constantly thinking about what you should be doing or getting something else. It's all about being happy with what you've got. Grow things: It could be a rose plant, a cat or a dog! You will learn patience, peace and awe. Express beauty: Through your music, the cake you make, the flowers you arrange. Simplicity, beauty, comfort and harmony flow in and through one another. Pretend you have just three friends: I know, I know, you could never narrow the list down that far. But ask yourself: How many of these relationships are fulfilling? How many are habits? Before you turn all guilt-ridden about pruning your social circle, remember, we're talking about your sanity. It's okay to not keep in touch with everyone. But you can't accommodate everybody and still have a life. Letting go of some friends doesn't make you a bad person. Spoil your husband: Make some time only for your husband. When the kids just have to do something else. That way when you're all together as a family, neither of you can expect that attention and you don't get frustrated wanting it. Get one room painted: Call it a sneak attack on clutter: Start with one room. Bring down all the books from the shelves. This would force you to go through them and throw out those you no longer want. Then, once you are done with that room, you will notice that the room next to it looked shabby in comparison, so you just have to clean it out, too. It's like a pebble in water: The rings keep moving outward until you run out of steam or things become acceptable.
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