How many times have we been caught up in situations that could have easily been solved with an apology, but which have been left to fester and assume indecent proportions - all of which could have been avoided with just a properly expressed "sorry"? It is almost always difficult the first time - after all, are we all not slaves to our egos? But, if you know or acknowledge to yourself that you were wrong in the first place, you will be in a better frame of mind to see the other person's deep hurt and do the needful to assuage it.

It is important to reflect calmly on what happened and what exactly it is that you are sorry for doing. Go over the sequence carefully and pinpoint the moment when you have inadvertently (or deliberately, as the case may be!) caused a hurt. It makes it easier if you can write down your apology as this way, not only will your nerves get calmed but you will be better able to organise your thoughts as well as think rationally.

Reading over what you've written will also make it easier for you to practice what you want to say. For this, you have to state clearly what exactly it is you are sorry for doing. It is important that you acknowledge your actions without giving any excuses for your conduct.

Simply share your feelings without exaggerating or magnifying the incident and remember never ever to say things you don't mean. After this, wait for the other person's response without interrupting with defensive statements. Tell the person you are willing to make amends if it will help in defusing the situation.

Being in a proper frame of mind is very important. Think of the apology as a commitment to the relationship rather than as an act of weakness. Here, you have to be careful in that you apologise only for what you feel responsible for, not just to dissolve a potentially unpleasant situation. You could always write down your apology if you don't want to have a personal confrontation.Give the person time to sort out his/her feelings. It is not always that you can expect to be forgiven the minute you have apologised. But at least this way, you have got it out if your system and will be able to face the person without guilt pangs. In most cases, things do get back to normal soon enough as that little word 'sorry' irons out the hurt as nothing else can!

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