Involve him/her in decision making..Your child will be less likely to throw a "tantrum" the more he or she is involved in decisions that affect him or her. E.g. When shopping, ask him to select some breakfast cereals from a particular group; while running errands, ask him, "what should we do first?"
Then, be prepared to accept the child`s decision. By including your children in these strategies, you increase positive time spent with them, encourage them to expand problem-solving skills, and build self-esteem.
Your best bet is to treat your children with the same level of respect that you would your best friend.
Understanding the situation..
Your child`s temper tantrums can be very annoying, but it is important to know that your child`s behaviour has a purpose. Basically, children throw tantrums to get noticed, to get what they want, to get back at someone who has hurt them, or to be left alone. Our typical parental responses of being demanding, while using anger and punishment, are of little use at this time. It is likely that even with our best efforts, we simply make the tantrum worse.
One of the best ways to deal with a temper tantrum is to ignore it. This gives the child a chance to see that nothing can be achieved with a tantrum. A parent need only stand by and wait for the child to finish. If need be, you can move a distance away, while keeping an eye on the child, should the tantrum be that unpleasant for you. Then, once the temper tantrum is over, move on and say nothing about it to the child.
Discuss it later..
At a later time when you and your child are feeling relaxed, take a moment to discuss his behaviour. Ask your child if he could have solved the problem in a better way rather than throwing a tantrum. At first he may appear uninterested or might find it difficult to articulate his feelings. [A younger child may require assistance labeling his or her feelings. Sometimes this can be accomplished with the child drawing pictures about the event and then discussing it with the parent. This process takes time, but if you work at it, so will your child].
Furthermore, be aware of what you may be doing to encourage the tantrum. By arguing, fighting or giving in to your child, you may be inviting the temper tantrum as your child`s only tool to get what he or she wants.