Some children behave in peculiar ways. They beat and bully others, lie down on the floor and scream, stay away from home and school without informing anyone, sometimes even tell lies and steal things. In most cases these socially undesirable behaviours wear off as children grow up. However, if such behaviours persist, threatening harmful consequences, then it is a matter of concern.

Aggression: Children exhibit aggression by beating and bullying others, hitting, kicking, screaming and throwing things or being verbally aggressive by shouting, yelling or ridiculing. Sometimes, when the child fails to take any aggressive step against the person in authority, the aggression is transferred to inanimate objects or animals. Such children may throw things, hurt and kick their pets. As children grow older and their language proficiency improves, they become sarcastic and hurt others by their comments. All these are forms of external aggression.

Sometimes the child attributes the source of frustration to herself. She then begins to criticise herself and inflicts physical punishment on herself. A child may not eat because she has not secured good marks, she may not participate in any fun, and may deprive herself of any enjoyment. This is called aggression on the self.

Defiance: Children tend to exhibit this behaviour through their overt gestures and actions: by staring at elders, doing things the opposite of what has been asked, answering back. They become verbally rather than physically aggressive. Older children display their refusal to accept authority, in the form of criticism, ridicule, and other more socially acceptable forms of verbal expression.

Truancy: This is another adjustment problem seen among school going children. Such children do not attend school and spend their time roaming around or sometimes indulging in socially unacceptable activities like stealing. This is found to be more common amongst boys than girls.

The causes can be classified into 4 broad categories:

Physiological: deprivation of physiological needs such as hunger, lack of sleep and rest, discomfort, etc.

Socio-emotional: lack of love and warmth, sense of insecurity, no sense of belonging leading to anxiety, lack of proper recognition, rejection by parents, attitude of the school and the peer group, inability to cope with studies, punishment at school and home leading to low self-esteem.

Many a times parents take out their own worries, tensions and frustrations on children. This creates confusion in them and they rebel against these inconsistencies.

Environmental: Environment prevalent at home and outside - parents attitude towards the child, parental favouritism, too strict or permissive handling, comparison between siblings, behaviour of peer group and people in the neighbourhood.

Children with such emotional problems are likely to come from families where there is discord and conflict or from large families with many children and family discord. Poverty, deprived conditions due to financial difficulties, serious educational backwardness are some of the other causes. In certain cultures aggression may be the symbol of masculinity and it is quite acceptable for boys to be aggressive and sometimes even defy social norms of behaviour. Birth order is another determinant. Generally the first born are found to be less aggressive than the later born.

Mass-media: Influence of mass media which shows violence. TV provides models for acquiring such undesirable behaviour patterns.

1. Divert their attention by engaging them in some other activities.
2. Channelise aggression into socially approved forms such as competitiveness, standing up for one's right, social reforms and other useful contributions to society. Remember, some amount of aggression is necessary for a balanced personality development but only in the right doses.
3. With older children, reason out that all their demands cannot be fulfilled and that such a behaviour is not acceptable. However, leave them alone when they are at the height of their temper. Do not provide a model of aggressive behaviour to the child.
4. An introspection by parents is very necessary. It will indicate the need for modifying their own behaviour and also give insights into the needs, feelings and thinking of their child. As parents, become a little more conscious of your own behaviour, your comments, and the way you handle your child. You can considerably reduce her anxieties and frustrations, and finally help her overcome her unduly aggressive and truant behaviour.
5. Role of the school is also very crucial. The teacher's high expectations of the child and comparison between two children in the class can be harmful.
The all round development of the child should be integrated with regular classroom activities so that she gets a natural outlet for externalising her internal conflicts and confusions which may be bothering her. This also prevents emotional and other behavioural disorders that may otherwise take place.
6. Involve the child in activities, which help reduce such undesirable behaviour, such as different play situations, painting, creative writing, dramatisation, puppetry, or a well-directed interaction between child, teacher and parent.

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