Parents and children are not equals. It is well accepted that children have a right to unconditional love, respect, security and care-but not authority. Authority lies with parents. And they must exert this in gentle yet firm ways to make sure children learn the necessary rules.

Democracy does not always work well in a family. Earn and maintain your respect. Discipline should be in actions, not lectures. Do not nag, plead, coax, debate, question or threaten the child while enforcing discipline. Children rarely pay attention to pure 'talk'.

Raising children requires fewer words and definite action. If you 'talk' too much, your actions will not make any difference.

Your child should be responsible too. All too often parents feel miserable and ultimately responsible for nearly every problem their young one faces.

Remember - you are not the only influence in your child's life. Do not blame yourself for everything wrong in your child's life.

Similarly, you need not take the credit for everything that goes right in your child's life either. Your job is to provide the choices; the child too plays a part in shaping her destiny.

Discipline is easier to enforce if both parents are actively involved in the process. Parenting is joint responsibility. It's a game of mixed doubles. Get involved together from the start.

Fatherhood begins with conception - it doesn't end there. Take charge together. Let your partner share your ups and downs through the joys of parenthood - while sharing the responsibilities too.

Fathers are no longer looked on as mere financial providers. They're expected to pay an active emotional role. And most of them do pretty well nowadays.

Parenting is a shared joy.

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