Parenting one's own biological children seems trauma enough at times. And this seems magnified many times over when it's a stepchild you're dealing with. You're not too sure of your rights, or how you'll come across or anything else. Being a stepparent is never easy. Very often you can't help but think you're in a lose-lose situation. But with time and effort - things might work out pleasantly. But here a few tips to help you along the way.

You're scared to get involved. Scared of overstepping, scared of rejection. It seems easier to leave the responsibility to your spouse. While the responsibility is primarily the biological parent's - if the child is living with you - you need to get involved. Besides if you choose to keep out of issues, the child might read it as indifference.

• Start the relationship by trying to be a friend - not a parent in charge. Besides, it's an easier job and a good way to build a bond.

• Accept the fact that there will be problems - now and then forever and ever. This happens even with biological children - so why should it be any different now? Stepfamilies do go through a lot of a lot of unrest and conflict.

• Let the father and child spend time together as often as possible. You could have a Mom's Day Out with your girlfriends simultaneously. You'll feel a lot better about it.

• Never talk ill of the mother of the child. Such hurts go deep and linger long. Stay out of any bitterness between your new husband and his ex.

• It's going to take a while to settle into a cordial relationship - don't try to rush the process. You'll never get to be a popular step mom over night.

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