The 10 laws of good parenting should hold stronger values than Newtons laws of gravity. Parents are never labelled good, where children are concerned when opinions are asked. They are their first enemies ,this fact has to be accepted with a grin by all parents of today.
LAW NO 1
Tackle children in a very soft and diplomatic way without hurting their feelings and ego.children know how to manipulate the weaker sex. The children of today are very observant of what is happening around them. Parents should not argue or fight with children in their presence as this will bring a feeling of insecurity and confusion. Children need a happy and a good home.
LAW NO 2
Children do not need a friend in us ,they like to see us as parents to support their ideas.No matter how hard we try to move closer,they keep us at a distance and look upon us their superiors. As parents we need to constantly remind them that blood is thicker than water.
LAW NO 3
FREEDOM! FREEDOM! AND FREEDOM! This is a magic word which is working on their minds. Children should be given freedom and constantly watched upon, mind you ,not spied upon!!!
They need to understand that we trust them and they should not break this delicate bond. Trust is a very important factor throughout their lives.
LAW NO 4
Parents should encourage children in whatever they are good at. Each child is unique in his or her own way, as parents we should find that hidden talent and encourage them. By doing this we are improving the child`s self esteem which is very important for self recognition.
LAW NO 5
`Spare the rod and spoil the child` is a very tricky phrase in recent times. Punishments should be given. Children should be made to understand why we are punishing them. They should not be made to feel guilty or that they have committed a crime. These feelings can lead to psychological problems. Most of the children enjoy punishments and prefer to punished with a companion.
LAW NO 6
Should children be given pocket money? Vitamin M has its own importance in a child`s life.More than a necessary factor it has become a luxury. Parents can give children pocket money and encourage them to save .Smaller kids can have piggy banks and older kids can have bank accounts, preferably without a debit card .They know that their money is safe and understand the concept of interest. Small drops make an ocean and this could make a difference in their lives later.
LAW NO 7
Should parents help out with homework? Most of children of today have working parents and they spend the latter part of their day at a day care centre. Parents need to help children with their home work, and monitor their school work. This gives the child the satisfaction of knowing, parents care. The parents should be a part of everything they do.
LAW NO 8
Parents have to teach children good manners. It is true that they spend more time at school, but school provides them the education they need and their need to play with peers.As parents we have to keep advising them to treat elders with respect. More nuclear families are cropping up so the child has to relate to age when they talk or behave. Children can be involved in small chores where they feel they can contribute something good. To motivate them, we can reward them with words of appreciation ,not monetary rewards.
LAW NO 9
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Children should be encouraged to play with peers. By doing so they learn the art of sharing and the spirit of winning and losing. Parents can play joint games with the children, to improve the bonding with the family. Playing games is known to release pent up feelings and anger in a child.
LAW NO 10
A parent has earned the title ` A GOOD PARENT` only if a child has crossed all hurdles and is able to face up to any failures in life. Parents should not pressurize the child ,do not compare the child with another one. Parents should stop putting their children in all possible activity classes. All parent want their children to be `JACK OF ALL TRADES` Instead of confusing the child it is better to recognize and encourage the child in that particular field, which he is good at .Recognition will follow automatically.
Let me conclude by saying these are just the few laws that one can think of. There are no set rules ,we have to study our child and instill good moral values and responsiblities. The environment in which the child is reared is very important. They pick up the bad habits faster than the good. As parents we need to set a good example for them to follow our footsteps. I wish all parents success in their journey to the world of parenting.
- Chandni Srinivasan
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