Home » Pregnancy & Parenting  » Adolescence  » Responsible teens Figuring out whether your teen is able to take on more freedom and responsibility is only a part of a parent's job. You also want to prepare him for extra privileges, and help him have positive experiences that will build confidence and self-esteem. Here are tips to help you do just that:

1. Encourage baby steps. Allow your child to start small, then gradually permit him to take part in situations that demand greater and greater maturity. For instance your 18-year-old wants to get his driver's license. Instead of handing over the keys just because he's of legal age, build up to it slowly First, let him drive you to the supermarket for a month. If that goes well, you can let him take the car alone to a game on Saturday. Then you might let him use the car for the whole weekend. By increasing freedoms incrementally, you give your teen time to mature.
   
   
2. Set clear rules and limits. Since teens are not the most rational of individuals, make sure they know what they have to do and when they have to do it. Hold them to these limits and let them know that there are consequences for breaking the rules.
   
   
3. Stay calm. Explain your decision in a calm, rational manner. If you let your own feelings get out of hand while dealing with a highly emotional teen, it's synergistic; you feed on each other. It's better to operate like a sponge and absorb some of your teen's emotions. Don't let things escalate into an irrational argument. If you find that happening, break eye contact, lower your voice, talk less and listen more. It helps calm your teen down and gives the reasoning part of his brain time to catch up with the emotional part.
   
   
4. Trust your gut. Don't let your child, other parents or any outside pressures persuade you to allow your teenager to do something you don't think he's ready for. Instead, listen to that little voice inside you. It's usually right on the mark.