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Mother's Art of Gender-Bending

Submited by- Team Sitagita on 23 Jul, 2012 PREGNANCY & PARENTING  PARENTING  

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Mother's Art of Gender-Bending

Gender transformations are neither accepted nor supported by their peers within the society and they face tormenting throughout the process of transitioning themselves into another gender. Since they have a psychological condition, they don`t find comfort in being who they are and accept another gender that makes them happy and fulfilled in the beginning, but eventually they can`t come to a point where the mind and body fuse together as one. This develops sadness, depression, isolation and anxiety further leading to suicidal thoughts.

Most people give in for the feeling of being disgusted by their own sex and are extremely comfortable behaving like the opposite sex. Such feelings start to appear at a young age and develop through the years to its extreme. When a young boy likes to play with barbie dolls and/or dress up like his mother/sister, his parents usually think of it as a phase that will soon be history. Looking away from it does no good and parents should understand that the consequences can actually be life changing for the kid.

Parents should be supportive but not ignorant. They must recognize the need to refrain them from behaving like kids from opposite sex. The matter is way more serious than one can imagine and basically goes beyond fancy dress parties at school where letting the boy dress up like Cinderella and the girl like Batman is fun. Mothers, being the closest to the children, should notice any change in behavior so as to identify whether or not s/he is a gender bender. Some symptoms are listed below:  

Feeling disgusted by their own genitals.

Wanting to be the opposite sex.

Mentioning that they will grow up to be an opposite sex.

Cross dressing and behaving like the opposite sex.

Isolating them as they are rejected by friends in school. 

Withdrawing from any kind of social interaction.

In many cases, such behavior lasts for about a year, two or even the elementary school and fades away as time passes by. So, if a child is acting like a gender bender at an early age, s/he may not possibly grow up to become a transvestite or a transsexual. However, the mother should be cautious throughout and use the following tips to divert them from this behavior while nurturing them in a positive way.

Rather than being insecure and ashamed of, the mother should encourage her child and be proud of her/him. However, do instigate, without pressuring, the child to behave like other kids of her/his own sex.

One should also encourage the child to play with all kinds of toys – dolls, tea sets, teddy bears, cars, footballs and more. Different types of stuff to play with makes her/him to explore and develop interests without anyone judging her/his choices. Neither will s/he feel that something is being forced upon her/him. 
 
The important thing is allow freedom. If the parents compel the child to do something, it`s likely that s/he will be drifted away from it. So, the mother should ensure that she doesn`t force her daughter to wear skirts in case she wants to wear camouflage pants. Moreover, one should never blame the child or call her/his behavior strange or a sickness.

Encourage the child to become more social, go out and make friends. Nonetheless, don`t ever force her/him to make friends of the same sex. If the child doesn`t want to go outside, invite other kids over and organize theme parties. Interaction with other kids is crucial for the child.

The mother, on her part, has to be supportive, at least pretend to be so that the child doesn`t feel that s/he is not understood and accepted by the family. The most important thing is to keep the communication open. One must show her child that s/he is in a supportive environment and s/he can talk to her about anything at any-time.

Tags : Women, Mother, child, Gender Issues, suport, mental health

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