Call me Madam X. Or should I say Madam Ex? Ex wife, ex employee. I'm forty-one years old - certainly not a spring chicken - and considered obsolete in these days when technology outdates itself every couple of years.

For reasons I won't discuss here - I have no choice but to be financially independent henceforth. It obviously isn't going to be a bed of roses. When life throws a spanner in your works at this age, you need to think on your feet - and hold onto what you have.

How do I manage? I take one day at a time - and give it all I can.

A penny saved is a penny earned - so I try to earn all the Pennies, Paise and Rupees I can - by saving them. My breakfast consists of a glass of milk and a banana. I've cut the sugar in the milk too - and saved another couple of pennies. Am I grateful about all these diet fads - my Spartan meals will be put down to a strict diet!

It's time to peruse my ever-growing list of potential jobs and employees. The secret lies in not being too choosy about the kind of job you want. Like they say - Necessity is the mother of invention - I'm ready to invent and reinvent myself any number of times - if it will help me get a job.

Contrary to what people think - I'm not getting desperate - I believe I'm doing a job - for myself - to keep myself going. I believe that's what every woman should do in my place. Do your job.

Do your job - it's like saying Love thy neighbour. The first thing that comes to mind is - why should I? She certainly isn't worth loving and I'll be better off not having her for a neighbour. Yes, but won't life be less unpleasant if tension didn't escalate each time you stepped out of your door? Similarly - taking up employment that you won't enjoy is better than sitting around wondering how you're going to pay your rent the next month. Besides, you can always look for a better job, once you already have a job in hand.

Wallowing in my misery does little to boost my spirit - so I insist in indulging myself a little every day - and let the good times roll. It could be as simple as giggling with a friend, curling up with a good book or watching Amitabh Bachchan on TV. I look forward to these times. They're healing, and strengthening - and help me to face another day.

I knew I must have done something right somewhere - when I finally managed to land a job. Not a dream job - but a job that helps keep the wolf at bay, and my self-confidence at hand. Maybe I'll get a better job someday, maybe I won't - but somehow - it doesn't seem to worry me now.

I know I got through my bad times by taking one step at a time. I didn't say no to any prospectus job - I did all I could till a better job came my way. And I gave myself a couple of happy hours every day - it helped make life less hard.

NAME WITHHELD

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