Divorce is one of the most traumatic experiences in one`s life. Though for some it is a welcome relief from what would have been a lifetime of agony, for many others it comes as a bolt from the blue and catches one unawares.
When a divorce is the result of incompatibility, the couples do not want to wait for any signs of improvement in the relationship. They would like to have a clean slate and try and start their lives afresh. They do carry a scar for some time, but the healing is generally quite fast as they are relieved that they do not have to spend a lifetime arguing about everything under the sun. But when a divorce is unexpected - when the couple is enjoying a seemingly happy and contented life - it is generally due to one of the partners straying in search of excitement and change. This hits the partner hard, as he/she would never have imagined that such a thing could ever happen. Sometimes, the marriage survives as the erring partner returns to the home and hearth and is forgiven and accepted back. But these days it is quite common to find that women, especially, don`t seem to be willing to accept this and they file for divorce when they find that the husband is straying.
For most people, a divorce is akin to the death of a loved one. There is plenty of grieving and the person is distraught as he/she tries to come to terms with the unpleasant turn of events. Women are hit the hardest and most need counseling to get over the trauma and get life back on track.
Here are a few suggestions to help in getting over this agonising period in their lives:
If the woman is going to continue staying in the same house, which she might have got as a settlement, the best thing would be to make it entirely her own by rearranging the furniture as she would like to, instead of worrying about what her husband would have to say. Better still, if she can afford to, she could give her home an entire new look by selling off the old furniture and putting in new stuff according to her taste.
Next, she should think in terms of a new look for herself - go in for that stylish, haircut she`d always wanted to have, but was afraid to in case her husband didn`t like it. She could get a make-over done at a parlour and emerge a new, confident person with a fresh attitude which will make her face challenges with confidence and strength.
A working woman just has to concentrate more on her work and try and attain new heights in office. However, if she is a homemaker, she should organise her life quickly and try and keep herself as busy as possible and not just sit and mope.
She could think of taking up voluntary work in an organisation that is doing something close to her heart. This will make her feel needed, while keeping busy will lift her morale and give her a sense of independence. She could also join an aerobics class or a gym and get herself to a good fitness level - something that she had not had time for earlier. Pampering one`s body thus will add to a sense of fulfillment and well being and even help in giving a feeling of being pampered!
She should have an optimistic view of things and keep looking forward. This will help her get over the sudden upheaval in her life and give her a positive view of the future. Such an attitude will help her to heal faster and will even make the divorce look like a blessing in disguise.
If you have any further ideas to offer on this subject, please don`t hesitate to write in and share your views. There may be someone out there who really needs, and might actually benefit from your helpful suggestions!