Never under-estimate the power of communicating with your in-laws not only through your marriage but also before your wedding. A lot of misunderstandings crop up during the pre-wedding stage if your communication lines with your future family is not open. Here are some tips on understanding and communicating with your in-laws.
Taking some time off from your wedding preparations to get along with your spouse`s parents is not only necessary but also rewarding. Sometimes it helps to look at things from their perspective. Are they coping with stress from planning the wedding? Do they have any concerns about their son and you as a couple? Are they feeling insecure about anything?
Whether or not their fears are well founded, understanding their perspective and talking about it can help you improve the way you relate to your in-laws. Take the time to figure out what they are thinking and feeling about the wedding. Don`t shut them out.
Weddings bring out the best and worst in the people involved, and you, your spouse and your respective families may all be at your worst. Little things that normally would not bother you can become larger issues. All of you will be influenced by a host of well-meaning, friends, relatives and other on-lookers.
When the wedding is over, start fresh. Try to forgive and forget and start over. Don`t bear any grudges.
It is important to be as flexible as possible. However, some things may not be negotiable. If you have some specific concerns or limitations, talk to your fiancee and figure out a way to communicate these to your parents. It`s best to establish these as early as possible in your relationship.
Try not to compare your in-laws with your parents. There is no comparison. Each set of parents has their own set of qualities. Establish a new relationship with your in-laws and be open to new ways of doing things.
Let your fiancee be the one to discuss difficult and controversial issues with
his parents. He or she has more experience in dealing with them, and they are less likely to resent him.
Remember, your in-laws want to be a part of your life. Be inclusive. Keep them posted about all the wedding arragements that are taking place. Make sure that your respective families talk to each other and bond before and during the wedding. Include both your families in any important decision that you need to take during this period. Be open to what you hear.
Spare some time from your wedding arrangements and offer to help your in-laws in choosing gifts and maybe going out shopping with them. Encourage your spouse to be as helpful to your own parents.
Keep communication lines also with your family and friends. Don`t get so involved with your wedding that you neglect the other important people in your life.
Tip - Politeness and courtesy is what you need to extend to your in-laws. You may not always be on the best of terms with them, but you need to at least keep your communication going with them.