It's time to send out the wedding invitations. Tips on what you shouldn't do (invites over e-mail are an absolute no-no) and must do.
Wedding invitations should be sent out further in advance than other invitations. Give people at least six weeks' notice. If you are asking them to travel, make it eight weeks.
RSVP etiquette
In general, Indian weddings do not have RSVPs. But this is changing more and more. As costs spiral, it helps to have a rough estimate of how many people might be attending the wedding. Provide an RSVP date so that you're not panicking about your caterers the week before your wedding.
Remember, however, that this is a new concept for most Indians. It is likely that you will not receive replies by the date specified on your invitation. Don't take it personally if invitees are late in replying. People get a great deal of mail, and of course, you are not the centre of their universe.
You do need to know how many people to expect, however, so go ahead and harass them a little. In such circumstances, rather than fret about your guests going home hungry, it's quite fine to follow up with phone calls (or ask a good friend to do it for you).
Clarity is paramount
Weddings tend to be long drawn out affairs. There's the mehendi ceremony, the sangeet, a dinner and dance night just for the fun of it, Jivan mama's cocktail do, Rani mausi's women's only night, the wedding proper, the reception....
Your invitation should be clear about what functions you are inviting people for. Your wedding, of course, but are they also invited to the mehendi ceremony? Do they get invites only to the wedding reception? Will there be dinner? The food part is particularly important, since people want to know if they should show up hungry or fed. Weddings also tend to be raucous affairs with people letting their hair down. So, if you will not be serving unlimited Johnny Walker Black Label whisky then definitely let them know.
So:
Bindu and Dijen
request the pleasure of your company at
5:00 pm., June 26, 2001,
for their wedding at the their farm house in Mehrauli.
Dinner and drinks will follow at the Grand Ballroom, Maurya Sheraton at 9:00pm
Please, no gifts.
Of course, close family and friends will probably ignore the gift part, but it's almost got to be de rigueur and you will definitely gain brownie points for having included it.
Dress Sense
This invite gives an indication of the level of formality you are expecting since you don't want your guests dressed like Christmas trees during the mehendi ceremony. And you certainly don't want them squirming, wondering if their expensive lehenga is going to be defaced by mehendi powder!
An invitation like this also lets people know when, where and what is going on. Importantly, it gives them an idea of whether they should wear a sumptuous Ritu Kumar Indian ghagra or a trendy Rina Dhaka cocktail dress.
E-mail is outlawed
Please do not be tacky and try to save money by e-mailing your wedding invitation. Under no circumstances should you go the e-mail route. Even if colour pencils and brown paper bags are the only means of paper invitation within your budget, they must be sent by mail. However, e-mail may be used to gently remind people that they haven't sent back their RSVP.
Work Mates
You do not have to invite everyone you work with to your wedding. Send invitations only to those you really want there. You do not need to explain to others why they have been excluded, and it is poor form for them to ask or harass you for an explanation.
If you are compelled to alleviate any ill feelings, simply tell the person that you have only limited space.
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