Weddings cost a lot of money and stylish weddings can cost you a fortune.
Alright, so there`s something to be said for style. How many weddings have you been to where you can tell that they spent lakhs of hard earned moolah and it still seems oh-so-tacky?
When you start adding up the costs of your impending nuptials, they can be prohibitive. There`s the cost of your saris, the flower decorations for the pandal, the food, the takeaway gifts, the video camera man, the photographer, transportation, accommodation....
Who is in control here?
Everything seems to cost more if they`re for a wedding. It`s not fair, but it`s true. So, what should you do? You and your fiance need to sit down and talk about what you`re willing to spend and what you are willing to let other people spend on you.
In India, the tradition has been for either the bride or the groom`s parents to pay for the entire cost of the wedding. But remember, accepting large sums of money from your parents or his can mean giving up control, because when people pay for things, they start to take ownership of them. It`s natural.
This will come up first when you are designing a guest list. You may have it in your mind that you`d like a very small wedding, just family and your closest friends. Let`s say a grand total of 250 people. If pitaji is footing the bill, though, he`s going to be thinking about how Mr. Seth from the office invited him and your mataji when their daughter got married.
For most of the world, a wedding joins a couple for good, to their families and to their community. They therefore feel that members of all those groups should be in attendance at your wedding. Be prepared to be really tough if you do not feel the same way about it.
In many families, money is difficult to discuss. These are things that must be decided, however, before the money is actually spent. So decide well in advance with your loved ones how many people you`d like to invite; whether you can have separate lists of invitees for the mehendi and shaadi; what kind of food you`d like (caviar/canapes/champagne or the more humble samosa/ jalebi/chai!); how much you`d like to spend on your wedding saris; a ceiling on how much jewellery to buy...
It`s really hard to talk money but take our advice, better to thrash out these monetary muddles earlier rather than later!