Arranged marriages still hold good in India . If you are a young man with a good job and excellent prospects and are on the threshold of marriage, it is time you sit up and take notice of the prevalence of the shameful practice of demanding dowry. Awareness is after all the key to action.
- Have a heart to heart discussion with your parents. Find out their intentions. They may be broadminded in most matters, but how do they intend to find a bride for you?
- Should they, by any chance, mention that they are looking out for a girl who would be coming into the family with plenty of money, you may be in trouble. Probe a little further - find out if it is just a rich background they are looking for, or do they expect her parents to bestow wealth on her as a precondition to the marriage.
- You have to put your foot down and tell your parents that you have no intention of insisting on the girl's parents gifting you anything. No scooter, no car and definitely no flat! Insist that what you are looking for is a girl who would be compatible with you, who would fit into the family and simply become a member of your family in every way. If you have always dreamt of marrying an independent working girl who would do the family proud, you can mention it to your parents. It will help in narrowing down their search.
- When you do get married, see that your bride is welcomed with open arms by your family. After all, she has left her loved ones and taken this extremely important step to be with you. See that no undue demands are being made. Give her space. She is an individual in her own right and you must respect her wishes.
- Every drop of water contributes towards making the mighty ocean. Do your bit towards eliminating this shameful practice and you would have contributed in no small measure to the movement against dowry.
If you are a girl who is about to get married, how do you ensure that you are not just a cog in the wheel for practioners of the dowry system?
- Stand tall and firm in your resolve to see that your parents are not exploited. Have a frank discussion with them and tell them that you will not get married to a man who is privy to a demand for dowry.
- You could ask your parents to clarify whether there is going to be any such demand from the boy's people. If there is any indication in the affirmative, simply refuse to meet them. Tell your parents that you are not a commodity to be linked to money and material.
- If you are a working girl, you have more reason to be independent and strong in your resolve. Earn respect by being firm. Your own self respect will only increase if you are articulate about your convictions.
- Do not lose heart. Surely you will find a man who is in sync with your principles and ideology. Your courage of conviction is sure to impress the right man and the right family.
It is the duty of every single individual to see that this bane of our society, this canker, this plague is eradicated forever thereby giving salvation to the hundreds of young girls and their families who go through hell and torture because of this degrading practice. Are we going to show solidarity in this resolve? What are your views on this? Do share your opinions with us and thousands of other Sitagita members on how best we can get rid of this evil, antiquated custom which should have no presence in the modern world.
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