Marrying someone from another nation can be exciting! There are so many things that are new and different, interesting and challenging. These same things can be a source of frustration and conflict, misunderstanding and hurt. Before you marry someone from another nation, take a look at this list. Perhaps you will see some things here that you have not considered.

We are not trying to convince you that marrying someone from another culture is right or wrong. That is something you will have to determine for yourself. But the Word does say that a wise man calculates the cost before beginning construction on a house. Hopefully this will help you consider the cost of cross-cultural marriage.

• Marrying someone from another culture means that one of you will be living outside of your home nation permanently...which means that you will not be able to see your family very often. That means your children will see very little of one set of parents (their grandparents).

• Not only will your children not have the opportunity to know one set of grandparents very well, if there is a language barrier, one set of parents will not be able to really communicate well with your children.

• You will have a hard time understanding each other's humor. Things that are funny to one will not be funny to the other. You will have to explain the humor to one another. (Example: Jokes from TV shows, childhood games, comic strips)

• One of you will not be experiencing your cultural traditions and/or national celebrations.

• Marrying someone from another culture means that one of you must be willing to not give your children the cultural traditions and national heritage that you have.

• You need to be aware that the day may come when you may need to move to your spouse's home country.

• You may need to consider that the socioeconomic class one holds in one culture, may not cross over in another culture. For example, a well educated man from Latin America may not receive the same respect he enjoys if he lived in the United States or Australia.

• Have you considered how both of your cultures view cross-cultural marriages? Light skinned people marrying dark skinned people may be perfectly OK in Venezuela, but frowned upon in S.Korea.

• Growing up in another culture means that the gender role models for your children may not be what you would consider to be good role models. (Example: Machismo in Latin America, outspokenness in American women)

• You may need to consider the effect of the "home court advantage" on your marriage. If a foreign man marries an American woman and they live in the United States, she would be cast in the leadership role in some aspects of their relationship. (She would better understand the language and protocol of the nation) Whereas if they lived in his nation, he would be able to lead out more effectively in their marriage.

Ms. Sundari Srinivasan

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