Once an alliance has been finalised by both parents and the bridal couple, the ceremonies begin. The first is a simple ceremony called rokai or thaka. The girl's father, accompanied by some friends and relatives, visits the groom's house and presents sweets and a small gift of money.
The engagement ceremony or mangani, takes place when the boy's family returns the visit and in the presence of friends and relatives the intended marriage is announced. Prayers are said and the couple exchange gifts.
The wedding itself is a grand affair spanning several days and is attended by all relatives and innumerable friends. There is singing and dancing for nights on end until the actual ceremony.
The bridegroom's entourage is called the barat. There is more singing and dancing; decking up the bridegroom, tying a sort of ornamental veil, the sehra, over his face, leading him in procession, often on horseback, to the marriage venue to the accompaniment of a brass band, blaring songs from old and new Hindi movies.
Milani is the ceremonial welcome of the barat at the gate of the marriage mandap. More gifts are exchanged and there is a lavish wedding feast.
Punjabis can be Sikhs or Hindus. So, wedding customs do differ to a certain extent.
The Hindu bride and bridegroom along with their parents sit around the sacred fire while pandits chant the marriage mantras. They are deemed to be married after they have walked around the sacred fire lawan phere.
The Sikh couple sit before the holy book, the Guru Granth Sahib, while prayers are said and the granthi instructs them on the duties of marriage; finally they go around the Guru Granth Sahib.
Prasad, a buttery, wheat-flour based sweet, is distributed to all present and signals the completion of the ceremony.
After this, both Sikh and Hindu weddings are marked by more feasting.
The concluding item is doli, literally meaning "palanquin", when the bride is given an emotional send-off to her new home and family. More ceremonies await the bride at her husband's home but the main rituals are over.
Another point of difference between Hindu and Sikh marriages is that Hindu marriages are usually performed at night, while Sikh marriages are performed in the morning.
A sect of the Sikhs, the Namdharis believe in simplicity. The ceremonies are simple, and often, many couples get married at the same time. The parents of the boy and the girl settle the marriage, but the approval of the head of the Namdhari sect is essential. Unlike Hindu and conventional Sikh marriages, dowry is not a part of the Namdhari marriage and the couples are dressed in simple white clothes. The scarves worn by the girl and boy are knotted together, and hymns from the Granth Sahib are sung.
A trend seen in recent times is to go through the procedures of the Indian Civil Marriage Act. 1956, after the traditional marriage has taken place.
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