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You are getting ready for your first grown up party. But are you prepared for a formal sit down dinner? Have you ever bothered to listen to your mom when she gave you advice on how to behave at a party? Ok. So you might have read up on how to use your fork and spoon, but that is not the beginning and end of propah manners! You have to correct your manners on how you eat too!
To begin at the beginning - your posture
Remember that your posture reveals a lot about you. Avoid slouching at the dinner table with a long suffering expression. And never, ever, rest your elbows on the table. Yes, you may rest your hands instead of fluttering them about when you talk, upsetting the glass of water near you, or worse, some dish close to you! And for heaven's sake! Don't take your face towards the plate - that is not some doggy bowl! And should you drop something - well, weren't you always called a ham-hand? Just don't pick up that fork or spoon and try to put it back. Signal the waiter unobtrusively and ask him to remove it.
How do you pass the food if someone asks you to? If the item is near you, simply take it up and place it next to your neighbour, not give it in his hand. Only remember not to help yourself to that dish as you are passing it to him! That is totally taboo! Do not stand up and try to reach out to the dish - not only is that not done, you might upset many other things in the process!
If someone asks you to pass the salt… what do you do? Remember to pass both the salt and pepper, never just the one. Also, avoid sprinkling it quickly on your plate before passing it on - that is simply a no-no! And always remember to taste the food first before you add the salt or pepper. It is an insult to your host if you season your food right in the beginning. Oh! And please desist from adding the seasoning to the whole dish just because you thought the salt was less! Just keep your creative additions to your own plate!
What happens when you have some embarrassing moments - like say, a loud burp (after all, didn't you ignore your mom when she chided you about it?) or a hiccup? Just be classy. Excuse yourself gently to no one in particular and put your napkin to your lips. Do not use the napkin to wipe your face or to vigorously rub your lips or to blow your nose. Please! Even at your own home table, these are the manners of a pig! And if you happen to spill something, albeit inadvertently - hmmmmm… these things do happen, you know - just apologise quietly, put your napkin on the spill so that it doesn't run on to other people's dresses and call the waiter to do the needful.
Pace your food. Do not rush through the items as if you are in a Formula I racing event. After all, you don't want someone to compliment you on leaving the plate intact! Just follow the pace at which your host is eating and you will be safe.
When you have the time for introspection, try to remember all that your mom has ever told you at the dining table - - Don't grab the food. There are others at the table
- Don't talk with your mouth full
- Always chew with your mouth closed and don't make a noise
- Excuse yourself when you get up from the table midway through a meal to attend a phone call
- Avoid picking your teeth at the table, making odd faces in the process
- Don't leave lipstick marks on the glasses
- Don't leave personal items on the table like car keys, purse or papers etc
- Don't keep fidgeting or squirming in your chair. It is distracting to others
As you can see, all these are valid suggestions and had you followed them, you would have been an exemplary guest even at your very first dinner party! But it's never too late and you can always make up at your next party - just follow these general guidelines and of course, remember mom's advice!
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