She kept tossing on her bed, all through the night. She could not lull her mind to sleep. His words kept ringing in her ears, "Honey! Just come out and we will enjoy!" She had lost her peace of mind!
A friendship, which began like a steady flow in the stream, suddenly changed into a turbulent river, sweeping her away with her emotions and feelings.
It all started with her desire to attend the poetry conference. So earnestly, he had told her that he would support her travel and see her dreams come true! But what happened was a betrayal in the name of friendship.
His demand confused her. She could not forget the voice that spoke into her ears. She felt pained at heart, was this the way of the world?
Her husband used to tell her always that nothing in this world is given without any expectations!
She looked into the face of her child who was sleeping peacefully like a little angel, smiling in her dreams and holding out her little hands. She could feel the smooth breathing and the sweet perfume of baby talc. Lifting her head, she kissed her little doll.
Tears began flow down her cheeks. Unable to resist herself, she sighed aloud! This was breaking her heart.
"Sometimes to accept the thing that you have yearned for will also be very painful"- these famous words just echoed through her ears. Her mind was at cross-roads, which path was she to choose?
As a teenager, she had wished to have a husband who would just take her away to a foreign land and show her the wonders of the world! She even dreamt that they would converse and whisper sweet nothings and be carried away by his charms!
But just the opposite happened! Though married to a handsome guy with a strong financial background, there was a bridge between them. During the early days of her married life, she could get only respect from her husband and not the love that she yearned.
Slowly, things changed and both of them became a very understanding couple. Years rolled by. After 12 years of waiting, they were happy to have their first kid. The apple of their eyes! Their precious gift from God!
Slowly life changed and started to take its own shape. She wanted to achieve something. She found a set of friends, who helped her fulfil her aspirations. It was then that it happened!
A friendship that started innocently suddenly changed its path. Although she was stubborn and strong in her views, yet, her heart wavered in its passion and emotions. Her feelings were stirred and she felt that she had got something that she had missed all her life.
But now she found an outlet for her deep hidden wishes. She could not just remain dumb, listening to his endearments and wishing he would continue to keep calling her just like that forever.
"Break free from normal life. Rules are made by man, only to be broken". A shudder just broke through her spine. Her ever-loving husband, always ready to make any sacrifice for them, came before her eyes.
She wanted to remain a good mother to her child and a good wife to her ever-loving husband. She pulled her mind away from these agonizing thoughts. She wanted to be left alone to enjoy normal life. She had a lifetime; if not this year, may be the next. Surely she could realise her dream and achieve the best.
Kalai Selvi