IS MARITAL BLISS ONLY FAIRY TALE STUFF?
During the wedding season, thousands of weddings are solemnized every year. With changing times, we see almost equal number of love and arranged marriages taking place. But this new chapter does not always unfold only everlasting happiness and love in the lives of these couples. All is hunky-dory until the couple settles down to lead their routine life together. Then they are quite often faced with unmatched expectations from each other that lead to disappointment. Certain obsessions, beliefs and even customs in case of inter-caste or inter-religion marriages cause frictions. And if the couple is unable to sort out these initial differences together, the gap in the relationship only widens with every passing day issues pile up leading to an unhappy married life, sometimes worsening into a blame-game and finally divorce.
But a few very simple rules, if followed diligently by the couple, can bring their marriage back on track. And every happily married couple will strongly vouch for these!
Respect for each other is most important for a marriage to work. If you respect your partner and your partners decisions without questioning or criticizing him/her all the time, your love for each other will only grow with passing time. Respect also means not looking down upon your spouse because of his/her upbringing or introvert nature or even interests and hobbies. One has to accept that two individuals are bound to have different opinions, likings and needs. And respecting each others differences is very necessary to have a peaceful existence together. These differences may cause arguments once in a while having arguments is quite natural. But they should not lead to bitter fights and accusations. There has to be an underlying trust in each other. If the couple trusts each other, they will accept each others decisions and differences.
Respect and trust make the foundation of a happy married life. Trusting your spouse primarily means not being suspicious of his/her activities or intentions in the presence of other people as well as in your absence. Some people are so suspicious in nature that they question their spouse about every minor thing thats happened while they were away from each other even their long distance phone calls turn into inquiry sessions instead of being enjoyable. The person being questioned loses interest in communicating with his/her spouse and in fact starts despising the spouse for not having faith in them.
Lack of respect for each others parents often gives rise to conflict in a relationship. Its important to treat the in-laws respectfully at all times. One need not be fond of them or agree with all their opinions and beliefs. But the basic Indian custom of respecting ones elders should never be abandoned so that a positive atmosphere is maintained in the family.
It is also necessary to keep ones anger under control at all times minor disagreements get blown out of proportion if we let our anger control us. There are women who throw things and make a mess in the house to express their anger at their husband. Similarly, many husbands cannot control their anger and physically abuse their wife. However regretful the spouse may be for his/her behavior at a later point, the relationship will become unstable due to such incidents. Any disagreements need to be resolved peacefully.
A healthy relationship develops when a couple lives peacefully together and at the same time each partner gets freedom to grow individually.
A happy married life may sound elusive. But by following these few basic guidelines, one can bring a world of happiness in their home and marriage.
Will Naseeruddin Shah starer 'Johnday' break the records of 'A Wednesday'?
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