It was the summer of 1979 and I was a fresher at a city college! This was my first tryst with a co-ed institution, having been reared amidst the discipline, rules and nuns habits at a prestigious convent school.


Ankush was he first to rag me. His gang took a particular liking to ragging me about my scrawny structure! I was called bhindi, bean pole, twiggy etc. When this went on continuously, one day I tearfully asked Ankush why was I always the target? The tears worked. He cautioned his friends and a friendship sprang up between Ankush and me.>He was the most caring guy I had met: attentive, thoughtful, loving. Sentimental cards and gifts were exchanged. College years flew and Ankush proposed after he got his first assignment


Smitten with love and all things beautiful, I accepted. The first few years were like a dream! We were the talked about couple, the ideal pair, love birds, the made for each other types! Ankush took care to pamper me, his thoughtfulness increased and so did his gifts. I often had to pinch myself to see whether al this was for real. I felt loved, cared for, wanted, pamperedall the things a girl wants out of life. I was on cloud nine. >Four years had slipped by without either of us realizing it and life, like wine, was just getting better by the day. Ankush came home from work one day, exuberant and excited. He refused to tell me why. He just whisked me away to our favourite restaurant and there he told me he had been promoted. I was truly happy for him, little knowing what lay in store. I saw less of Ankush, he came home late, worked harder, traveled a lot and got grumpy, as time progressed. Our two sons were born and I was literally left holding the baby. Even when he was around, he seemed preoccupied and no more did we do all those little things we used to. I needed courage to ask him for anything now, for all he did was growl! His career graph has moved up but our love life has slid down.

I am left wondering, why do men change so much? There was the loving, caring, attentive man I married, but where has he vanished? I have no recollection of where and when I lost him? Married now for over 12 years I often sit down and wonder, how does one deal with these two faces of one man in a marriage? What I married him for, he is not today. The man I live with isnt the man I married. Of course some consider his being Vice President of the company, the posh residence and his flying business class as great achievements in such a short span. I am sure there are women out there who envy me. But I do mourn the man I lost.