I almost had a whole blog dedicated to my heartbreak and the man behind this horrible thing. But when I read and re-read it, I smelt a bit of hate and lots of hurt in it. And let me admit, why I read and re-read itit was because of a wonderful little blog on Forgive & Forget right here on sitagita Womens Blog!
And, guess what! When I rewrote my blog, I found I was more to blame than him!
We all hit our lows, sometime in life. I have just decided to share my story and feel better!
When I am at my lowest, I can hurt people, and it was perhaps one of those days. I hurt him and he chose to hurt back. I of course didnt mean anything final, but what he did, made it final! There are two sides to us all. Ive just realized that if I hadnt done what I did, (even though I did not visualize the consequences) perhaps I wouldnt have provoked him to taking a hurtful and final decision like we eventually did.
To spite me, he chose to go out with my best friend. Should I have forgiven that? The question haunts me till date, even though its over 6 months since this happened. How do you forgive people who are not sorry? Today I have not only lost my boyfriend, but also my best friend. Who is the loser? Is it only me? Or are those two, losers as well?
Every time Ive nursed a heart break, I come out wondering whether men are real people at all. I dont hate men but I do wonder at their capacity to understand and their complete insensitivity. They can be so callous in a relationship, and actually never feel guilty about things they do. My boyfriend had mastered the art of lying to me constantly. He always pretended he didnt knowdidnt know I was hurt, didnt know what he should have done, had no idea what he could have done How come so much that is obvious, escapes them completely? I often wonder whether I am alone in thinking this way or are there others out there who feel the same way?