Ive been through a divorce and can tell you from experience, divorces can get pretty messy! To avoid the mess of a divorce, the first thing one can do is to try and recognize the problem. Sometimes even an apology expressed at the right moment can go a long way in helping to resolve the issue. It is always better to tackle problems when they are still fresh and before they are allowed to fester and magnify into a divorce situation. Once smaller issues are solved, somehow the threat of divorce seems to recede.If you have been partly responsible for the bitterness and rancour in the relationship, zero in on where you ve gone wrong and it will be that much easier for you to make amends. Try to rectify the situation. You can express your concerns right in the beginning instead of allowing the problem to grow. If your husband has been golfing every evening and preferred hanging out with his friends to spending an evening with you, talk to him about it. If he could be made to understand that this is not in the best interest of his marriage, he may apologise, express regret for his actions and try and avoid harming his marriage. This may put you in an entirely different frame of mind as you will recognize the sincerity in his voice and subsequent actions. Its important that he understands the harm that has been caused by his thoughtless action, he should accept responsibility instead of trying to make scapegoats of his friends. He should not try and put the blame on great stress at work. It is only when one accepts total responsibility that one can help change the outcome. This is where counselling can help.
I have been through a divorce and after my divorce I spent a lot of time reflecting on what could have been done. Ive messed up my marriage, but I hope I can prevent others from messing up theirs!