A discussion I had with a friend sparked off an interesting thought in my mind. She was very surprised to know that I do not object to my spouse smoking. (He is a smoker).
"But why don t you stop him? Why do you allow him to smoke?" She asked, genuinely surprised and stunned perhaps that there indeed exist wives in this world who let their husbands smoke!
What interested me was the choice of wo
rds--"letting" and "allowing" your spouse to do something.
It s usually children who are allowed and not allowed certain things.
I told my friend that my husband is an adult and smoking is a choice he makes. He knows enough to decide what is good and not good for him. I do believe that one of the worst things spouses can do is nag the other about something.
I think a good marriage is one where a spouse respects the other. One cannot act like a protective parent in a marriage. If you act like a protective parent, be prepared to deal with a rebellious teen.
The fact is nobody knows what will happen even in the next one hour. A few months back my cousin s wife dropped down dead ( a massive cardiac arrest) at the age of 36, leaving behind two kids who are seven and five. She neither smoked nor drank.
Another close friend s first cousin went through a similar tragedy. Her spouse who was 41 dropped down dead on his way to the bathroom. He neither smoked nor drank and was a pure vegetarian too.
A friend s father who was a chronic smoker lived upto the age of 75. My maternal grandfather lived upto the age of ninety two or so and he smoked too.
Yes, I am aware of the dangers of smoking.
I am also aware that life is very unpredictable.
What matters is how you live each day.
Be grateful if you have lived today well. Say a little prayer of thanks if you have had happy moments of togetherness with loved ones--friends and family.
And don t try to control your spouse. If it makes them happy, let go! Life IS short!
And be happy yourself too!!