BPO Agony aunt - sitagita.com

BPO Agony Aunt

Working in the BPO industry? Earning a good packet, but not able to enjoy life with the kind of money you are earning? Getting a lot of promotions and therefore unable to sleep or connect to people? Does it lead to a lot of frustrations and problems?

Agony Aunt from Sitagita is a comfort zone for people who would like to confide in their problems and get some suggestions. Download your problems to unwind.

Dear Mam,I am a 37 year old mom of two sons.My son scored 74% in his 10th class,Earlier he wanted to become a car designer but now he is totally clueless of what he wants to do in hiss life ,He has decided to opt for commerse stream with maths,which is not exactly his forte,he is showing no interest in studies despite counselling ,infact he is rude and has started backanswering too,Otherwise he is a well behaved boy with no bad habits.Since we all are are from service background how do I convince him to take life seriously.He is 16 + Kindly advise

Dear Chandra, Your son is probably disillusioned himself. He probably wanted to do better and today feels that he is not capable of doing anything like car designing. The anger that he has within is the reason for his rudeness. Tell him that you believe in his capabilities and tell him to focus on his subject. He can always switch to something else. Keep him motivated by enrolling him in a part time/weekend course of his interest. He should not have the time to wallow in his sorrow. He needs to be active and happy. Ask him to join a gym or some other physical sport. This will activate his mind and body. He will also meet many other young people of his age and learn about how they are handling life. Forget about his performance in the 10th now and focus on how he can improve on himself. You need your husband's support also in this. As adults we tend to focus on the past and get our children also to focus on it. Tell your son to excel in commerce. Keep him happy and you keep your mind happy. By the way, what does your second son do? Can you get him to help? Set goals for your child that he can attain. Talk to your husband about the situation. How did you feel the last time you were overlooked for a promotion? That is exactly the way your son feels. Work together. Good luck.

Dear Aunt, I am 36 year old mother of two adorable kids. My biggest problem is my short tempered nature and the worst comes out on my two kids. My daugther who is one plus is too small to understand all this, but this is affecting my son who is four plus. Everytime, i get annoyed he asks me whether I would hit him...he also cries too much now, which irritates me to the core and I end up loosing my temper. When he doesn't listen to me then also I get irritated. I live in a joint family from whom I have no support and this irritates me more and everything comes out on my kids. I realise this but unable to control it. My son's personality is getting suppressed because of this, he was a happy child earlier, now I feel he is more withdrawn. I hate myself for all this.....Please help. how should I change myself!

Dear Meena, It is unfortunate that the pressure of your family is telling on your children. Childhood comes only once in a lifetime, so let your children be happy. Ask your husband to support you in this. It is most important. If you get irritated, count to ten and take a deep breath. You will find that your irritation vanishes. But you have to make a conscious effort. If a child is afraid of a parent, it is definitely not healthy. Here are some useful tips: 1. Picture something relaxing in your mind every time you get angry. 2. Do some yoga exercises every morning to relax your mind. 3. The more you get angry, the more the chances are of your losing your kids and it will be very difficult to win them back. 4. Think about the kind of thoughts your children will have about you ten years from now! That should prevent you from shouting and screaming. 5. You need to be respected by your children and not treated as a hysterical person because that can be hurting. 6. When you are in an angry mood, look at yourself in the mirror. Do you like what you see? That is the way your children see you. 7. Wash your face with cold water when you know you are going to start shouting! 8. Talk to your husband and tell him to help. You can't control your children with anger. Don't turn the anger that you have on the world against your children, you will lose the only people who really love you. Enjoy their childhood and let them grow up into healthy citizens. Good luck.

Dear Agony Aunt, I have written to you several times, but unfortunately never got any replies. I am v depreesed. I dunno whether am wrong or is it my hubby. Anyways u cannot clap with just one hand. Am sure there must be some fault in me also. Well we r married for about 3 years ( arranged marriage), no kids yet as we r still not ready. Am a homemaker. Looking for jobs now. I have no idea what my problem is. Or maybe I myself am a problem. I have nice parents, nice inlaws, good hubby . Problem is ego clashes. I talk to my inlwas and friendly with them. But he doesnt talk to my parents. Y shd only a girl talk to her inlaws after marriage. Y doesnt the m,an also think they r like his parents? For this reason, I ve also cut my convesratiosn with my inlaws . I talkk to them v little as justa formality. They keep talking to me. But I call them up only as a formality these days. Coupel of times I ve mentioend that he talks less to my parents. He is like " what si there to talk or what shd I talk about". Hubby is a lil reserved by nature. But its 3 years since we r married and still he so formal and doesnt talk more than "Hello" to my parents. Pls advsie me. This is affecting our realtionships. I guess my inlwas have already minsunderstood me that I dotn call them often. My parents ask me not to takle all this seriosuly and not to force him to talk and to give hubby time. But am irritated. icant eb that ncie as parents. pls pls help me

Dear Sad Soul, I am sorry but I have not received your mails at all. Anyway, you are on the right track when you say that perhaps there is some fault on your side too. Most husbands do not talk much with their in laws. It doesn't really matter; they only have to learn to respect them. As long as your husband treats you well and loves you, learn to accept him for what he is, especially when you know that he is reserved by nature. Most women have a problem with their in laws but you seem to have wonderful in laws. Learn to cherish them. Learn to be more happy by taking up a part time job and meeting people. The more you meet people, the more you will understand that you really don't have many problems. Your parents are wise when they say that it doesn't matter. True, it doesn't matter. The important thing is that both of you be comfortable with each other. My advise is to learn to be happy. Don't spend too much time watching television! Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are lucky and you will feel so! BPO Agony Aunt

Please send me about bpo jobs in pune.

Dear Nishigandh, Pune is also a BPO hub. Go to Google search and type in BPO companies in Pune. Examples of some companies are Accent Eserve, Pinnacle Technologies, Bay Area Credit Service Collects and Care Principium. Look up the BPO jobs available on the sitagita site also. I hope this has been helpful. BPO Agony Aunt

Dear Aunt, i am 38 yr fem married and with two girls aged 11 and 9. i am working as a senior clerk in a Central Govt. revenue Dept. My hubby is working in a bank and we are financially comfortable. Though i have no complaints with my life, i am very unhappy with my job. there are no promotions, it is same job year after year. people who are my juniors and with less caliber than me get promoted thanks to 'reservation policy'. it is so frustrating. i want to quit and start a business of my own. is it wise to leave this secure job and venture into unknown? or should i compromise with system and continue with my unhappy,frustrating, boring career. i cannot decide. i feel trapped

Dear Surekha, No risk, no gain! You must actually talk about this plan with your husband. What other skills do you have to start a business of your own? Write down what are the things that you could venture into and what kind of skills you need for it. You also have to put down what kind of money you would need to invest in it. Next, how long will it take you to be successful in the new venture.?Hubby and you have to decide whether you are financially stable enough to go through this phase without your income. In our site, a lot of women entrepreneurs talk about the kind of business they are doing. Have a look at it; it may be helpful. If you are starting a business, you can also advertise this for free on our site. If you think that business is not for you and you do need a definite change in job, have a look at other job opportunities. Your computer skills must be good since and you probably are good at administration. Look around for jobs with such skills. Think before you jump into it by looking at the pros and cons and definitely discussing it with your husband because as your children grow older, their needs also increase. Good luck. BPO Agony Aunt

Dear Aunt, I am a 41 yr old male married for 10 years and with a 7 yr old son. My wife has what one would call a 'Roving Eye'. When ever a hansome young man passes, she would never fail to stare at him. She also flirts openly with other men whenever she gets a chance. Oherwise she is a wonderful person in every thing else.How do I cope with the situation.Thanks & regards.

Dear Su, You definitely have to talk to your wife about it. In fact, you should ask her how she would feel if you behaved so with women younger than her. That should set her thinking. She is also not setting a good example for your son! There is no need to feel stressed out about such a thing. You should also tell her how hurt you are by the situation. If she loves you enough, she will soon see reason.

Dear AunT, I m 26yrs fem and I m facing too much of problems in my life. My parents wants me to come straight from office and that too before 7:30.They have come to Know abt my affair with a guy whome I love infinite. This acts as fuel in our fading relationship. I dont't want to miss this guy come what may. Please tell me what to do and the last things that many of my colleagues are bossing me at my work place and this is making a wrong impression of me on my superior's mind and in short i m victim of silent treatment. Please tell me what to do.

Dear Nam, Tell your parents pleasantly and politely that you need time of your own after office hours. Tell them also that you have met someone special and would like time of your own to work things out with him. How serious are you about this person? As far as the office is concerned, you have to be assertive in the office. If someone tells you do something and you cannot do it because you have no time or do not have the knowledge, tell them so. Don't say 'No', but tell them, "I'm afraid I have work of my own to complete. I would love to help you, but I can't." If you have a different opinion, say so! "That's a different viewpoint from mine. I feel..." The name of the game is to disagree politely and firmly. Practise these phrases in front of the mirror. Your body language should be confident. Your back should be straight, you should make eye contact with the person and what you say should be said confidently and with a smile in your voice! Don't get treated like a doormat. We have to respect ourselves.

Madam, i am a 50 years old housewife,my husband is an officer with the govt. my son got married to a girl of his choise six months back. we agreed to the marriage, though we didnt approve of the girl. she hates me, though i try very hard to please her.she insults me all the time, i.e. banging doors on my face, doing exactly opposite to what i say. i cant even take her to any relative's place, because you never know how she will behave. my son is a lovely person, but he is doing whatever she says to save his marriage, he threw away his job after marriage,on her instigation. He is an engineer and is trying to start his own buisness, but is penniless at the moment. my husband is supporting him for now. i cant even tell them to leave, since he is jobless. she stops talking to us on flimsy excuses and makes sure, he too does the same. she probably wants to live seperately, but he cant afford it. what should i do? i want to see them happy.

Dear Arvinder, I understand that it must be very difficult for you to get treated like this by your daughter-in-law. Rather than enduring the torture every day, why don't you give your son a particular amount of money every month and tell him to manage on his own? If your son really supported you, he would not let his wife deal with you in such a manner. We all need our sense of self respect. Talk to your husband about it, and if he agrees, then to your son. Tell him that you are doing it because you love him but at the same time you want your sense of self respect too. The kind of situation that you are living in will only lead to ill health. Your daughter in law too will get a jolt because she will understand that people will not tolerate her beyond a limit. If you succumb to her now, you will have to do so for the rest of your life.

Dear Aunty,after seeing your responses, i felt like confiding all my issues to you. Iam feeling iam a failure. I was married about 8 years back and right from day one, i suffered a lot. For example he said on the first day that iam short and not compatible. He said many times that iam not good looking. Mine was arranged marriage. He and his parents tortured me like a any thing. After some days, they showed their true colors. They asked why i have not told my parents that they are harassing me. I said i do not want others to look at u as a bad guy and once tomorrow things goes well, i have to feel bad , if they point out u. Anyways, nothing helped to save my marriage. Within one year of marriage i moved to other place. By god's grace, i secured a good job. When i was thinking that iam settling profesionally, i needed to resign to my current job as thing didn't go well. So,iam in search of job again. Meanwhile, my parents are looking for some proposals but every time iam failing. I was not liked . Some times i wonder why god has given me this type of life. Whenever i fail, i used to be silent for couple of times and starts doing in different direction. Now that i resigned to job and also as iam not personally settled, iam feeling as if iam a failure. I feel whether this life is important and really that much worth? Please suggest me whether iam doing right or wrong? Precisely speaking iam not that much bad when it comes to appearence

Dear Chandana, You only seem to have had bad luck. I am sure life will soon treat you better. But why did you resign your job before taking up another job? Never do that. You should always jump to a new job while still in the old one. Work on your appearance. Get yourself a new hair style and new clothes that suit you. Look out for a job and tell yourself that you are worth it. Work on your self esteem. Look into the mirror and tell yourself, "You deserve the good things in life." You will soon find that you get those good things. Set down goals in your book and work towards these goals. Settling down with a partner is important but in the meantime do other things in life. Meet new people by joining a swimming class or a gym; learn new skills like a foreign language or something else that will help you in your job. The more people you meet, the more you will enjoy life. Surf the net and look for jobs. Sitagita too has a section that advertises jobs for women. Look, search and soon you will land yourself with a job. Learn to be happy. Forget about what has happened. At least you have come away from the situation.

Dear agony aunt my teacher is putting so much pressure on me to get every answer on every test that i take rite but how is that possible if i get more then two wrong she will givge me extra homework but its hard to get them all rite because i live in ireland and i have to look after the junior infants in the mourning and i have 23 kids in that class to look after and we have irish verb tasts every mourning and irish is 1 of the hardest languges to learn plase help.

Dear Stressed Out, Is your teacher doing this only to you or is she doing it to everyone in class? If she is doing it to everyone, then it means that she is a perfectionist and wants you all to learn. If she is doing it only to you, then it means that she feels you are capable of performing much better. Look at it from her point of view also. For her to set you extra assignments and tests is no joke. She has to think of the questions and then correct your answers too. She too is taking on a lot of work. Since you seem to have other responsibilities also, talk to her about it. Tell her how much you appreciate the fact that she wants you to do well, but also tell her that you have other work which is keeping you from studying all the time. Tell her that you would like to do well and therefore could she reduce the portions for the test so that you can master a small part of the language at a time? Do this talking when no one else is around. I am sure she will appreciate your frankness and will also be glad that you have acknowledged that she is working equally hard. If you stop thinking of things as stress busters and instead look on them as challenges, you will do better! That is the trick!